PRIVATE SPEECH; INNER THOUGHTS.
Date : Monday, January 21, 2013
Time : 11:27 PM
Title : Job Search


Have been trying to search for a job recently.
I admit that I didn't put in my best effort in submitting resumes and all.
Honestly, I'm waiting for a job opportunity at CGC while working part time.
I understand the workings of the clinic, & I know what are the advancement provided for their full-time staff. Most importantly, it's IMH! I've always wanted to get a job under IMH or other government organization. With my degree, government sector won't really want me. This is my only chance to be employed! As far as I know, this is the closest I can ever get to my very first job. I want it so badly, more than how much I wanted it for my internship!

That kind of desire to want to have the job is making me worrying about it almost everyday ever since my colleague told me about the possibility of the job opening!
I can't believe that I actually wanted this job so badly. I'm very willing to revise my weak stats just for this job, & I will do that!

I've always been a very lucky girl, will my luck just run out on me this time? I don't know. But what I know is I will try my very best to secure this position. It's really a stepping stone to my dream career.

雪薇,加油!


Date : Sunday, June 17, 2012
Time : 10:50 PM
Title : Information in Mind


After beginning my internship programme at CGC, there is never a day that I don't feel like getting up for work. (: No Monday Blues as well. That's a great sign, at least to me. It means that I'm really enjoying myself there, and loving what I'm experiencing & learning.

Just a sudden urge to pen down all my random thoughts and feelings about the first 5 weeks of my internship. I feel that I should record such priceless experience somewhere. Don't intend to write them down manually though, just lazy.

I just hope that I didn't disclose any confidential information here. I apologize if I did, and will remove them promptly.

My Supervisor - N
I am really lucky to have N as my supervisor. She is a really nice, supportive, encouraging, understanding lady. And is always pushing me on. I strongly believe that I will learn a lot under her guidance. (: TBH, I'm still a little intimidated by her. Well, she's my supervisor afterall, right? I've been trying hard not to worry about how she assesses me, and to make myself worry less about making mistakes. I mean, internship is an opportunity for us to gain experience and learn from mistakes, isn't it? Trying really hard to overcome my own obstacle. She has also been "satisfying" my limitless demands and requests for sit-in observations etc.

Inpatient Ward Rounds at IMH
I had been attending inpatient ward rounds at IMH several times. Honestly, it is very different from what I was expecting. Speaking of ward rounds, initially I had the idea that doctors/psychiatrists will be the one walking round the wards and visiting each inpatient (IP), but it isn't the case! Psychiatrists (Consultants, Medical Officers), psychologists, medical social workers, special ed teachers, nurses are all gathered in the conference room. Different IP's basic information was written on the large whiteboard - e.g. Initials, Diagnosis (Dx), Date of Admission (DOA). Then psychiatrists will go through the case files of each IP, and then get updates from the nurses about the IP's behaviors. When needed, IP will then be called into the conference room where they receive interviews from the psychiatrists, psychologists, etc.

Through these ward rounds, I get to see IP with different Dx, and how questioning was done to obtain essential information about IP's condition. It was an eye-opener for me, someone who has only been hearing about those disorders from lectures and never seen it in real-life.

During my first visit, I'm very clear that I was a little afraid of interacting and talking with some of the IP. I feel that I have to overcome such fear, and treat them as individuals instead of their disorders. I'm glad that I overcame such fear by taking a big step in chatting with them during my third visit there. After interacting with them, I realized that some of them are actually like me, just a normal individual! Not knowing they had a Dx, I would believe they are just like you and me, or anyone on the street.

I have another 2 more opportunities to attend the ward rounds, and I hope I can really learn something more from it. (:

Dr. Daniel Fung's Clinic Sit-In
I had sat in for Dr. Daniel Fung's clinic. To me, it was such a golden chance and an honour to be learning from him. Seeing how he talks to existing clients and how he interviewed new clients, I learnt techniques that the school's lectures do not provide us with! These hands-on techniques really comes with experience in the field. I was really grateful to be able to pick up some of these skills from him through his clinic sit-in.

Background information about Dr.Daniel Fung
- Adjunct A/Prof at DUKE-NUS Graduate Medical School, NUS, NTU
- Consultant Psychiatrist
- Chairman Medical Board at IMH
- Chief, Department of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry at IMH

Dr.Lim Choon Guan's Clinic Sit-In
Personally, I preferred Dr.Lim's clinic sit-in. One reason because he would briefly explain the Dx and certain basic information about IP to me before the IP comes in. This gives me a brief idea of what should I be expecting. Furthermore, he does not appear to be arrogant, and that he knows everything well. He admits he wasn't very knowledgeable about a particular disorder, and even offers to look it up on the web, together with me! Oh well, I have been looking up to him after seeing how he interacts with the little girl when he needs to draw her blood. At such a young age, he had achieved such a high position and not forgetting about his publications. I had learnt many techniques from Dr.Lim, like what I did from Dr.Daniel Fung's clinic. All these skills are valuable, and I believe it would be beneficial to me.

Background information about Dr.Lim Choon Guan
- Consultant Psychiatrist
- Deputy Chief, Department of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry at IMH

New 'Friend'
DQ - my new 'friend' (that's what my supervisor said). He was the very first IP that I chatted with, alone. While I was waiting for Dr.Lim's clinic, DQ approached me, and initiated a chat. He told me his Dx, and many other stuff. It was really interesting to be talking to someone like him. Well, I had never had such experience/exposure. It was my very first time.

Unfortunately, I saw him during my second inpatient ward rounds at IMH. I realized that he was admitted to IMH 2 days after I saw him. Seeing him at the ward round wasn't something good. But to my astonishment (and everyone else in the room), he actually recognized me and remembered my name. Saw him again on my third ward round visit, this time round I spent more time chatting with him after the ward visit. Idk what I can do as an intern or as a 'friend' that could help him. What I know is that I am treating him like a normal individual, at least that's something I could do for him. Idk if he would listen to me or take my words/advice seriously. I just hope I need not see him again on my fourth ward visit.

Somehow, I think I will remember him for life. He seems to create an unforgettable episode in my life, and he was part of my learning journey. (:

Occupational Therapy - Gym Session
It was really amazing to see how gym therapy session helped children with different disorders. And also, from observing how these children interact with the equipment, the occupational therapist can noticed so much things about them. There is definitely more for me to learn about it! Probably being a play therapist could be fun! :D

Exposure Therapy - OCD Case; Dr. Sharon Sung 
I'm really thankful for Dr.Sharon Sung and the IP for allowing me to sit in and observe their therapy session. It was my first time seeing how an exposure therapy was being carried out. Although it was only one session so far, I think I can learn even more things in the upcoming possible sitting in sessions. (:

Downside - STATS!
Oh well.. The downside of my internship is none other than Stats! It's killing me! I sincerely hope that my colleagues will understand that I'm really noob with Stats, and be patient and forgiving towards my kindergarten level of Stats knowledge.


Date : Thursday, March 15, 2012
Time : 8:22 PM
Title : Child Guidance Clinic


I understand that I have been talking about my internship recently.
Apologies to those friends who have been hearing about it - via different social media network.

This internship seems so important to me; it's like a stepping stone for my future career.
(am i exaggerating it here? i hope not.)

- - - - -

Here are some details about the programme (if anyone is interested; if not, just skip the whole chunk):

Programme Scope: Student will be attached to the Research Unit, Department of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, Institute of Mental Health.

- Orientation to the department
- Work alongside research team on research-related tasks such as :
1. Review medical records for potential patients who might meet the inclusion criteria
2. Plan and conduct intake interviews for research patients (e.g. setting of appointments, explanation of research study to patients)
3. Administer paper-and-pencil questionaires to research participants
4. Administer computer-based structured interviews to confirm clinical diagnosis of participants
5. Co-faciliate group therapy sessions

- Observe departmental activities including :
1. Inpatient ward visits - ward rounds with psychiatrists
2. Sit-in observation sessions with doctors, allied health workers and researchers
3. Sit-in observation sessions for psychological assessments & group therapy sessions

- Participate in departmental training :
Department weekly training sessions (including journal, articles review, cases conferences and live supervision)


- - - - -

I was in dilemma for weeks after my interview with CGC; worrying what if I have to choose between CGC & THK.
(yes, i was 80% sure that CGC will want me after the interview. i have confidence in my ECH background!)
And this worry came true before I can actually make up my mind.

I personally think that it is a really rare opportunity? Since I checked online, and IMH usually don't take in undergraduate students as internship (i think that's for those who wanted to apply for it on own accord).
I wanted CGC so much at the beginning of my internship programme. but after hearing about the pros and cons of my job scope, i was afraid. Afraid of those helpless moments that I have to experience in a new environment full of strangers. Guess that's part and parcel of entering a new working environment?

I'm glad I have my lovely ladies to discuss this issue with. (: they helped me so much in making up my mind.
I guess they really know my capabilities after working together on countless assignments over the 3 years?
I'm thankful for them for helping me see myself better; and of course their faith in me. (: #luckygirl

verbally accepted CGC on the phone with this admin lady who kept forcing me to make a decision. -.-"
then she even sent me an email to remind me to officially accept the internship via a link.
i don't understand why she has to force me to make up my mind when im entitled to 3 days to make my decision.
maybe she just want to clear her job; and if i reject CGC they can find another candidate? oh well...

just hoping that i made the right decision. (:

P.S. oh ya. mindef didn't even get back to me. not even a rejection email. what are they doing?
- - - - -

Every time when I recall back my school years, I always feel grateful for everything.
Somehow, I think I am a really lucky girl when it comes to academic area.

Primary School - although i can't make decision on which school i want to enter, but i met great friends. (: friends who live nearby me, till now. friends who truly cares about me, and like me for me. friends who are still keeping in contact even after so many years. friends who we don't have awkward silences with. (:

Secondary School - mindset back then is just find a neighbour school, enter a secondary school with my primary school friends. and yes, i got the secondary school of my first choice. not that it's hard to get in! hahaha! but nonetheless, i got it, and i was in the same class as several primary school friends too! (: & i had really awesome, fulfilling and meaningful secondary school days. made lots of stupid mistakes, hurt self and people around; but those are all part and parcel of life. isn't it? (:
teenagers are the stupidest creatures on earth. xD heard it from a show. and we all had our stupid period.
upper sec, getting to choose the subjects we wanted. i didn't manage to get into the class i wanted initially, but i got into a better one. that's something good, right? (: some people tried so hard yet couldn't get it. lucky right? (:

Poly, ECH - choosing course for poly after sec sch graduation. never knew what i wanted. was looking around, and "early childhood education" caught my eyes, and i set my eyes on it too. honestly, back then, i only wanted ECH. i can't even remember my other choices now. other choices seems like... totally not important to me? haha! lucky girl, i got ECH, the one that i wanted badly! so smooth sailing. and best, i met a bunch of wonderful, and just-use-all-the-nice-words-on-earth-to-describe-them ladies. ^^ they had the biggest role to play in my poly days. without them, school won't be fun, lessons won't be interesting, projects/assignments will be worst than hell. im thankful for them, very.

Uni, NTU, Psychology - i faced my first hiccup in my academic years. i wanted NUS, FASS. i got the chance to go for interview, but i screwed it up. but still, i got my first choice course from NTU. isn't that another smooth sailing transition to my uni life? at least i had the course i wanted, and not some other? (: it's just a different campus. then i met my current clique of friends. coming from diverse background - JC, Poly, Indo, Jap, Tall, Short, Lame, Creative.. (ok..i drifted away from 'background'). It's these people whom I turned to when facing troubles in school - like application for internship; signing up for courses; etc. they are the people who gave advice, discuss the issue, and overcome everything together with. (: im such a lucky girl to be blessed with this clique of friends.
When applying for internship, I also got what I wanted in the first phase of application! how lucky it that?

How long will such luck last? I just hope there's no price to pay for all these smooth sailing academic experiences I had, cos if there's a price, I will be bankrupted 10x over and over again.

What goes around comes around; I shall continue to be nice to people, most of the time.
(I'm human, I can't be nice to everyone ALL the time.)

Enough of such a long, boring, naggy entry. Just wanted to pen down my messy thoughts somewhere.
so sleepy now. bye.



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Date : Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Time : 10:21 PM
Title : AWAY FROM SCHOOL-RELATED STUFF


Went for orientation at Moral Society EIPIC Centre today.
The staff are all really nice and friendly, even those aunties who saw me for the first time. (:
I believe it's a really good working environment.
Met with one of the Senior Teacher (N), had a chat with her about the organization's policy and found out more about the Special Ed field.
I have to say that it's never easy to be in Early Childhood Education field (it's not just about ABC, and singing songs!).
What's more about Special Ed?!
I totally salute those educators who put in much more hardwork, passion, love, care and patience for those special children, and really making a difference in their life!
After hearing from Teacher N, this field really needs individuals who are passion, and are able to persist and endure all those hardships. It's not easy.

Okay. Away from my awe-ness about these Special Ed teachers. LOL!
I guess I wasn't ready to handle children who are in the moderate to severe range, so I requested mild-moderate ones.
By luck, I was assigned to Huiwen to observe her class!
Initially Teacher N was looking for Prep3 class, but can't find them. In the end bumped into Huiwen's class! Oh well, had quite a weird moment trying to pretend that I don't know Huiwen when Teacher N was around. Haha.
It's quite an eye opener for me! It's a brand new experience that really made me reflect so much.

Shall keep those reflections to myself, too much to express in words here. ^^

Went to school to submit those application forms, and headed down to Orchard to meet Xueni.
Side tracking a lil: She finally finished her exams, but another bomb just dropped on her which extended her workload to another 1 week. But that's a good bomb! Her FYP was selected because it's a potential Ace project, so her group got to go for presentation next week! (: #proudofher

I was starving, and decided to have lunch at this Japanese restaurant at Ion.
and I ordered this Chicken Katsu Curry:


IT'S REALLY DELICIOUS! (probably influenced by the fact that i'm starving)
Should try their udon too. #thumbsup

Was shopping around Orchard for a couple of hours.
Honestly, I started out quite bored because I was controlling my spending!
I just spent over hundred bucks on Love,Bonito items for the past 3 weeks' launches! OTL
I tried, but can't resist the temptation of bandage skirts selling at $7.90 at H&M. #shopaholic

And... somehow both of us wanted to get that David Beckham paper bag from H&M. hahaha!
Bought a couple of other cheaper stuff. So happy that the cashier just gave us the paperbag w/o the need for us to request! #notafanofbeckhambutjustdontknowwhy
Weird thing is, the lady beside us spent like $350+, and she got all her clothes stuffed into one big H&M plastic bag (no Beckham). =x The paperbag is like so much better in quality, and 'design'. LOL! okayy.. side tracking again.


I totally enjoyed myself today. Feel so great after being away from home, from my room, from my study table, from my school-related notes for a day! (:
I think I really need it before I get burnout!

Oh well, work got to start again tomorrow. So, I shall just enjoy today and do things that I like! ^^

boring entry. congrats that you survived this far. ;)


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Date : Monday, February 20, 2012
Time : 5:59 PM
Title : HELLO.


Hello? (expecting replies from silence)

Doubt anyone actually visits this blog now. (:
Yupyup; I haven't been updating this blog since... *counting the number of months*
erm.. okayy.. *lost count*.. hold on.. *counting*
DONKEY MONTHS AGO!
#lame

I needed somewhere where I can pen down all nonsensical thoughts of mine,
no regards to whether anybody is reading or judging me.
I need my personal space to vent my frustration, and dump all my rubbish.

Shall try to blog again, soon. (i hope)


SO IN LOVE WITH THAT GUY. #notmyboyfriend

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Date : Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Time : 12:29 PM
Title : 喜欢寂寞; 学会了生活能享受寂寞。


扬起了灰尘 回忆里一场梦
那照片里的人 瞳孔曾住着我
阖上了过往 梦境活成河流
已滋润了身旁 真实中的脉搏
生命来到窗前
不吭一声 拎走了我们
谁为情所困 谁为爱牺牲
谁比谁深刻

当时奋不顾身伸出我的手
看见了轮廓就当作宇宙
甜美的习惯变成生活
才了解了什么
如今故事发展成就一个我
学会了生活能享受寂寞
剧烈的语言变成温柔
又带来了什么
若是不曾走过 怎么懂翻飞了往事 有时灼伤眼眸
那伤人的台词 现在听来轻松
平息了心思 有时一笑而过
我此刻的样子 见风仍然是风
生命吹过面前
不吭一声 划成了掌纹
挥霍了缘份 看透了景色
我懂得深刻
当时奋不顾身伸出我的手
看见了轮廓就当作宇宙
甜美的习惯变成生活
才了解了什么
如今故事发展成就一个我
学会了生活能享受寂寞
剧烈的语言变成温柔
又带来了什么
若是不曾走过 怎么懂

当时奋不顾身伸出我的手
看见了轮廓就当作宇宙
甜美的习惯变成生活
才了解了什么
如今故事发展成就一个我
学会了生活能享受寂寞
剧烈的语言变成温柔
又带来了什么
若是不曾走过 怎么懂

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Date : Friday, May 27, 2011
Time : 11:40 PM
Title : NEW LOVE


I'm loving this new sport that I picked up. (:

Thinking of ways to have a chance to train and master it.

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Date : Thursday, May 26, 2011
Time : 2:30 PM
Title : TENNIS





Started my very first Tennis lesson on Monday, 23rd May 2011. (:
I'm loving every single bit of it, maybe except for the muscle aches. 

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Date : Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Time : 10:34 AM
Title : General Elections 2011


7th May 2011


Majority of Singaporeans casted their precious vote. (:
I was lucky enough to be one of them. 
Some people waited for 20 years after their legal age just to cast the very first vote.
I'm glad I don't have to wait till 40 or 50 to experience that.


It was kind of a mixed feelings. 
First, I was assigned to my secondary school to vote,
which made me excited to enter that school gate once again.
Plus, it was my very first voting experience!


Went down with Daddy and Mummy in the afternoon
the process was less than a minute! 
But I still wonder if our vote would be secret.
Cos I don't see the need to write the serial number of our voting pass on the paper?
But, anyway, be it secret or not, I guess everyone has their own reasoning about it. 
It's a never ending debate, no matter how much they tried to convince people through media or any means that it's secret. 


The waiting for results part was exciting. 
That's even more exciting than casting my first vote! 
I was never into such politics and cabinet thing, 
except for being an NE ambassador back in secondary school which I had to present and talk about it. I still remember one teacher who visits asked me what is a cabinet?
Aren't he suppose to know what's a cabinet? 
Anyway, when the results were revealed one by one, it's getting more exciting
especially when I watched with my Daddy. 
He understands it, so I just throw questions at him. Hah!
We stayed up till 2.30pm, I didn't catch the last result for Potong Pasir. Hah. 
Simply because the exciting one was Aljunied? =X 


Speaking of Aljunied, it's surprising and well, history was made, as the Opposition Party won. 
Unfortunately we lost a great Foreign Affairs Minister, Mr George Yeo.
I don't know why that I feel so sad about losing him in the Parliament, I never really know much about him to begin with. Just hearing from people around that how great he is as a Minister, and what a great loss it is to Singapore is heartbreaking enough. He is a true gentleman, as I read from those reports about him. It's time for him to take a break after such long servicing years to Singapore. He seems to want to continue his contribution, which is admirable. (: 


Another popular girl, Tin Pei Ling (aka Kate Spade). I never seen any of her speeches, I also don't know why people dislike her so much. Maybe she is young, but seriously, it's time to bring in and start grooming new people to take over, since those ministers are aging. I don't know how bad she was in her speeches and all. I guess the photo on FB with her signal twist and Kate Spade box was a bad start. Hah. People may hate her so so much, yet she is really strong to still hold back her tears, face the crowd which she knew that hate her, and continue to give her speech and show her effort to contribute to Singapore. Let's just hope time could prove her capability. (: and, why Kate Spade!? I was still planning to get a Kate Spade bag for myself. =x 


After this GE, I realized that politics is really confusing and you really need a lot of support from the citizens. I guess I will never really understand what it is really about. I'm happy with  the current Singapore, guess because I'm still a student? I don't have to be like those adults, troubling over housing etc. Just hope that by the time I reached that age group, I do not need to trouble about all these. hah. Complains and dissatisfaction would never end, it's just a matter of time of how those issues are handled. (: 


Okay, enough of my two cents worth of thoughts (did i use it correctly?). 


- - - - -
It was GE, supposed to be a PUBLIC HOLIDAY!
Yet, I still have to attend school, for my very first exam paper!
The train was so empty on a Saturday morning! 
That's good thing, cos I can sit down and read through my notes. (:
Everyone on the train with white papers of notes are almost like 99% heading to NTU.
I believe NTU is the one and only special school that had exams on the 7th. 


One paper down. I have 3 more to go!
Having my first open-book paper tomorrow.
Seriously, I felt insecure and lost without much revision!
Plus, I don't even know how open-book exam is suppose to feel like!
This exam period, I actually feel happy about studying!
I had a kind of weird feeling that I will feel very empty and lost after all my papers.
Because my routine would be broken!
Wake up, nothing to study for! Let's hope this doesn't last long!


23rd May, going to start my tennis module in school!
hope everything would be fun, and people are nice! :D 

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Date : Thursday, May 05, 2011
Time : 10:17 AM
Title : exam period


exam period, again. 
im actually kind of glad about how spread-out my papers are.
at least i have time in between papers to study. (:
that's something good isn't it? 
- - - -
lagging behind my cognitive psy notes already. :\ 
many chapters yet to complete. 
hopefully time in between allow me to complete it. 
- - - -
started on my alcohol, drugs and behavior model.
kind of like biopsy, which majority dislike it.
i find it interesting though. =X
but when it comes to the memorizing..
i think i remember more of the prof's stories instead. hah. 
wish me luck for this paper! 
it marks the official opening of my exams. 
- - - -
going to vote for the first time
this saturday (7th may).
wasn't really excited about it initially.
but as time passed, seeing those news reporting,
facebook updates about it.
those made me realize it's kind of really important even for me huh?
im glad that i don't have to wait for many years before i can vote!
hahah! lucky isn't it?
some people only get to vote the very first time when they are like..40 plus? =X
it would be a good experience! :D
oh, did i mention that it's at my secondary school? 
that's what made me so excited about it too. 
- - - -
concentrate on the studies!
p.s. i think my blog is getting boring, don't really know what to write about. and don't even  know if what i had written make any sense. LOL!

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