justWENDY

喜欢寂寞; 学会了生活能享受寂寞。

2011-11-15T12:29:00.004+08:00

扬起了灰尘回忆里一场梦
那照片里的人瞳孔曾住着我
阖上了过往梦境活成河流
已滋润了身旁真实中的脉搏
生命来到窗前
不吭一声拎走了我们
谁为情所困谁为爱牺牲
谁比谁深刻

当时奋不顾身伸出我的手
看见了轮廓就当作宇宙
甜美的习惯变成生活
才了解了什么
如今故事发展成就一个我
学会了生活能享受寂寞
剧烈的语言变成温柔
又带来了什么
若是不曾走过怎么懂翻飞了往事有时灼伤眼眸
那伤人的台词现在听来轻松
平息了心思有时一笑而过
我此刻的样子见风仍然是风
生命吹过面前
不吭一声划成了掌纹
挥霍了缘份看透了景色
我懂得深刻
当时奋不顾身伸出我的手
看见了轮廓就当作宇宙
甜美的习惯变成生活
才了解了什么
如今故事发展成就一个我
学会了生活能享受寂寞
剧烈的语言变成温柔
又带来了什么
若是不曾走过怎么懂

当时奋不顾身伸出我的手
看见了轮廓就当作宇宙
甜美的习惯变成生活
才了解了什么
如今故事发展成就一个我
学会了生活能享受寂寞
剧烈的语言变成温柔
又带来了什么
若是不曾走过怎么懂

NEW LOVE

2011-05-27T23:40:00.001+08:00

I'm loving this new sport that I picked up. (:

Thinking of ways to have a chance to train and master it.

TENNIS

2011-05-26T14:30:00.001+08:00

Started my very first Tennis lesson on Monday, 23rd May 2011. (:

I'm loving every single bit of it, maybe except for the muscle aches.

General Elections 2011

2011-05-11T10:34:00.001+08:00

7th May 2011

Majority of Singaporeans casted their precious vote. (:
I was lucky enough to be one of them.
Some people waited for 20 years after their legal age just to cast the very first vote.
I'm glad I don't have to wait till 40 or 50 to experience that.

It was kind of a mixed feelings.
First, I was assigned to my secondary school to vote,
which made me excited to enter that school gate once again.
Plus, it was my very first voting experience!

Went down with Daddy and Mummy in the afternoon
the process was less than a minute!
But I still wonder if our vote would be secret.
Cos I don't see the need to write the serial number of our voting pass on the paper?
But, anyway, be it secret or not, I guess everyone has their own reasoning about it.
It's a never ending debate, no matter how much they tried to convince people through media or any means that it's secret.

The waiting for results part was exciting.
That's even more exciting than casting my first vote!
I was never into such politics and cabinet thing,
except for being an NE ambassador back in secondary school which I had to present and talk about it. I still remember one teacher who visits asked me what is a cabinet?
Aren't he suppose to know what's a cabinet?
Anyway, when the results were revealed one by one, it's getting more exciting
especially when I watched with my Daddy.
He understands it, so I just throw questions at him. Hah!
We stayed up till 2.30pm, I didn't catch the last result for Potong Pasir. Hah.
Simply because the exciting one was Aljunied? =X

Speaking of Aljunied, it's surprising and well, history was made, as the Opposition Party won.
Unfortunately we lost a great Foreign Affairs Minister, Mr George Yeo.
I don't know why that I feel so sad about losing him in the Parliament, I never really know much about him to begin with. Just hearing from people around that how great he is as a Minister, and what a great loss it is to Singapore is heartbreaking enough. He is a true gentleman, as I read from those reports about him. It's time for him to take a break after such long servicing years to Singapore. He seems to want to continue his contribution, which is admirable. (:

Another popular girl, Tin Pei Ling (aka Kate Spade). I never seen any of her speeches, I also don't know why people dislike her so much. Maybe she is young, but seriously, it's time to bring in and start grooming new people to take over, since those ministers are aging. I don't know how bad she was in her speeches and all. I guess the photo on FB with her signal twist and Kate Spade box was a bad start. Hah. People may hate her so so much, yet she is really strong to still hold back her tears, face the crowd which she knew that hate her, and continue to give her speech and show her effort to contribute to Singapore. Let's just hope time could prove her capability. (: and, why Kate Spade!? I was still planning to get a Kate Spade bag for myself. =x

After this GE, I realized that politics is really confusing and you really need a lot of support from the citizens. I guess I will never really understand what it is really about. I'm happy with the current Singapore, guess because I'm still a student? I don't have to be like those adults, troubling over housing etc. Just hope that by the time I reached that age group, I do not need to trouble about all these. hah. Complains and dissatisfaction would never end, it's just a matter of time of how those issues are handled. (:

Okay, enough of my two cents worth of thoughts (did i use it correctly?).

- - - - -
It was GE, supposed to be a PUBLIC HOLIDAY!
Yet, I still have to attend school, for my very first exam paper!
The train was so empty on a Saturday morning!
That's good thing, cos I can sit down and read through my notes. (:
Everyone on the train with white papers of notes are almost like 99% heading to NTU.
I believe NTU is the one and only special school that had exams on the 7th.

One paper down. I have 3 more to go!
Having my first open-book paper tomorrow.
Seriously, I felt insecure and lost without much revision!
Plus, I don't even know how open-book exam is suppose to feel like!
This exam period, I actually feel happy about studying!
I had a kind of weird feeling that I will feel very empty and lost after all my papers.
Because my routine would be broken!
Wake up, nothing to study for! Let's hope this doesn't last long!

23rd May, going to start my tennis module in school!
hope everything would be fun, and people are nice! :D

exam period

2011-05-05T10:17:00.000+08:00

exam period, again.
im actually kind of glad about how spread-out my papers are.
at least i have time in between papers to study. (:
that's something good isn't it?
- - - -
lagging behind my cognitive psy notes already. :\
many chapters yet to complete.
hopefully time in between allow me to complete it.
- - - -
started on my alcohol, drugs and behavior model.
kind of like biopsy, which majority dislike it.
i find it interesting though. =X
but when it comes to the memorizing..
i think i remember more of the prof's stories instead. hah.
wish me luck for this paper!
it marks the official opening of my exams.
- - - -
going to vote for the first time
this saturday (7th may).
wasn't really excited about it initially.
but as time passed, seeing those news reporting,
facebook updates about it.
those made me realize it's kind of really important even for me huh?
im glad that i don't have to wait for many years before i can vote!
hahah! lucky isn't it?
some people only get to vote the very first time when they are like..40 plus? =X
it would be a good experience! :D
oh, did i mention that it's at my secondary school?
that's what made me so excited about it too.
- - - -
concentrate on the studies!
p.s. i think my blog is getting boring, don't really know what to write about. and don't even know if what i had written make any sense. LOL!

taking each other for granted

2011-04-28T22:36:00.000+08:00

are we taking each other for granted?
- - -
we may appear to be problem-less couple,
but in actual fact, are we?
im starting to lose faith.
this sucks.
i hope we aren't.

achievement

2011-04-26T10:46:00.000+08:00

i wonder what have i been trying to achieve in life.
i know i have always wanting to be different from others.
when i realize Degree holders are increasing, i wanted a Ph.D, or at least a Masters.
when i am planning to be back to teaching, and knowing more people are becoming teachers.
i wanted to be someone else, like psychoneurologist, child psychologist, dxo, forsensic psychologist, etc.
just something, unique and different.

is this good or bad?
it's good that im trying to make myself work harder and achieving more.
but at the end of the day, im unsure of what i really wanted to be.
and what am i trying to achieve?

it's the lost-at-cross-roads feelings, again.

getting back to this space

2011-04-25T10:09:00.000+08:00

i have been drifting far apart from this space! haha!
and i have rarely been reading my friends' blogs too. ):
ya, that's quite disappointing to know. =X
im trying to get back to this space, and trying to update as much as i can.
i guess here's one good place to let me vent and whine all i want,
without anyone shouting back and asking me to stop all those rubbish. hah.

another semester is ending, nearing to the exams.
and stupidly, 7th May was and will be my first paper.
the school is weird! it was a PH due to the voting,
then happily change to 14th!
i was finally happy that i have longer time to study for it,
then! yesterday night just received another email,
saying students feedback saying they already made plans for after 7th May
like booked tickets to travel.
and they happily change it back to the 7th! WTH!
and now, i got to finish rushing all 3 assignments due this week,
and really start studying real hard for those papers.

took up special term during this holiday,
and i got the module i want! TENNIS! :D
although it's only for a month, but im going to enjoy myself fully. (:
not going to waste that $500, and my time! (:
maybe it could be some new pick-up hobby in future. haha.

was planning to wake up earlier and go for a jog this morning,
well, had difficulty getting off the bed, but was so good at snoozing my alarm.
i snoozed for like an hour, which is about 6 times. =X hah.
i even dreamt that i woke up, and was washing up and leaving home with my sister
while she go school and i was heading for a jog!
this dream didn't last long, woke up when i heard the door closed,
my sister went out to school. LOL.

have been watching shows recently so much
that i felt kind of lost having no shows to watch now. haha!
got really addicted to House and Glee.
Okay, kind of slow for Glee, I know! People already finish watching season 1 and maybe completing season 2. LOL! who cares. =X i enjoy it can already. haha.
Seriously, I don't think Glee would have alot of seasons though. =X
that aside.

got to get back to my assignments.
damn it. :\ 3 are due this week! sians!
wish me luck.

First Post in 2011

2011-01-22T01:00:00.000+08:00

This space has been forgotten for a long time!

The last entry was in September 2010. Hah.

Time really flies. (:

Didn't start off 2011 well.

First was my results, next the electives, and timetable. :\

I totally regret for not working hard enough for the last semester.

And I know I always say this every single semester! ):

This semester is extremely disappointing.

I know why is that so, I prefer to keep it to myself.

I promise myself to work extremely hard, harder than before this coming semester!

Im only left with 3 or 4 semesters (including FYP), it's impossible to achieve a first class honours.

Almost impossible to get a 2nd upper, but I must at least get a 2nd lower.

Time to really pull up my CGPA, if not I would be wasting my time!

Seriously, after these few semesters, I realized that I really do enjoy early childhood more.

I guess my passion is still in the field. Decided to just go back to early childhood for my masters program, and hopefully I could qualify for it. :\

if not, i will definitely be totally lost. ):

okay. sad events just leave it aside for a while.

- - - - -

21st January 2011.

POH XUE NI's 19th Birthday! (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST, SWEETEST, CRAZIEST LOVELY SISTER! <3

I am really happy that you arrived in this world 19 years ago.

I spent almost every single day since your birth day till today with you! (:

I love you!

Continue to be awesome, and stay in my life! ;)

- - - - -

January is ending soon!

Eventful September. (:

2010-10-03T22:05:00.000+08:00

Made a bouquet of Lilies for Naz's 21st Birthday. (:

Me and the Birthday Girl. (:

She's an awesome friend.

Someone that I never regret meeting,

and is not going to stop loving. (:

- - - - -

Alive Gallery with Lydia, Joanne and Naz.

The girls are great company.

I can never find another group of company just like them.

LOVE YOU GIRLS!

- - - - -

Ziqi's 21st! (:

She's another friend that I cherished.

Someone who allows me to vandalize on her white ikea table,

by writing my wishes for her birthday. ;)

- - - - -

Photos we took on Peipei's 21st. (:

Another friend that I knew for over a decade, and

the friendship will definitely continue on for a few more. (:

How's Life?

2010-09-19T23:21:00.000+08:00

Surprisingly that I am actually blogging still. (:

Maybe this is the place that I could just voice out whatever I have in mind,

without having to worry about what others have to say?

This is somehow considered MY space? (:

HaoJie flew to California, San Diego on Friday 17 Sept 2010 in the early morning, at around 9.45am. He called around 9am, and we talked for a while before he boarded the plane.

Guess I am going to miss him real bad. :\

Initially I thought I was able to overcome the separation anxiety, since he had been to Taiwan for a month for training in the past. But sadly, I am not as strong as I thought I would be.

As time drew nearer to the night on Thursday, I felt the anxiety growing in me.

But well, he seemed pretty excited about the trip, so I suppose he didn't really sense my anxiety.

Hmm. but from his small little actions, I know he knew about my anxiety. (:

But those little things he did made me gonna miss him more.

It has already been 2 days. I am still coping well.

Just that I came to realize little things that I took for granted when he is around.

Oh. And I felt so loved on Friday morning after seeing my facebook. (:

Not only because of his post for me, but also because I have friends who liked that post.

I know they are there for me; They understand how I felt, and they are there supporting and encouraging me. (: You know who you are. Thank you. (:

And of course the short little post by my sister too. All of you are so sweet!

It's not possible that I won't miss him a bit, and it's impossible for me to not feel lonely at times without him around. But I will keep myself occupied with whatever I can so I won't really have the time to miss him too much? (:

There's like 3 birthday celebrations queuing up weekly? Plus school work, and revision maybe?

Quite a packed schedule till he is back? Come on Wendy, it's just ONE MONTH! (:

- - - - -

Btw, I have the thought of doing some voluntary work at some orphanage.

As usual, I always have the thought, no plan.

Have the plan, no action. :\ bad habit!

WOAH.

2010-08-21T10:53:00.000+08:00

First, I just noticed that my previous entry was more than a month ago.

Oh well, not much readers now, so it doesn't really matter. (:

I shall update when I felt like it. LOL!

And doesn't the long, waited entry make you felt that

TIME FLIES!?

It's already August, and it's ending.

Which means that September is arriving, and school is starting.

I have such a contradictory feeling.
I wanted school to start, but I love working now.

Weird huh?
Haojie kept reminding me that my main duty is to study hard,

not working in the kitchen.

I will keep that in mind. (:

Okay. I am happily working at where I am working now.

The Sous Chefs and others are all pampering me and caring for me so much!

I am so glad that I ain't someone who grew fat easily!

If not, I will like twice my weight now!

They have been stuffing me with great food every single weekdays,

and Haojie would take over during the weekends. LOL!

Well, I love my bosses/colleagues (most of them at least). (:

But due to such packed working schedule,

I hardly have time to meet up with my friends! ):

Can't even meet beloveds for Laksa Steamboat.

Can't even meet Xiaofong & Peipei for a meal.

Can't even go shopping with my sister.

Well, one reason is also cos weekends I will be spending it with Haojie. =x

Headache ar? :\

School starting, it would be slightly easier to meet on the first few weeks,

but when work load arrive, it would be as hard as now. ):

Time to manage my time well!

GOOGLE

2010-07-07T12:38:00.000+08:00

The new phone is forcing me to create a gmail account.

Here's a joke, i didn't know gmail is actually Google mail

till Haojie told me to get it for my phone since everything in my phone

is GOOGLE. (you may start laughing)

Google must be a damn rich company!

But I have to say, I really like google more now. (:

Especially the GOOGLE MAP! two thumbs up!

If i have more thumbs, I would put them up too. HAH!

It's amazing how it locate me on the map,

giving directions (by transit or by car or by legs) to the desired destination,

indicating to turn left or right at junctions for non-map readers (like me),

estimating how long the journey is,

and even the timings of the bus that would arrive at a particular bus stop.

Did I mention about the street view of how the destination or any location as well?

How amazing is the technology now!

Oh, and an update is that I could track where my friends were!

Provided they have a gmail account, and approve me of doing so. LOL!

Cool huh? :D

I never knew why Haojie likes google map so much after he got his HTC Snap.

And now, I got my X10, and I understand WHY! hah!

Was forced to use Google Chrome as my browser on my laptop as well.

Internet Explorer was damn lag, I stopped using and changed to Firefox.

And some time ago, Firefox kind of crash, and can't open up.

"Forcing" me to change to Google Chrome which Haojie recommended me sometime ago,

but I just didn't change to it. =X

And now when I start using it, it's amazing. (:

At least it's faster than firefox, the tabs look nicer too. HAH!

Gosh. Am I experiencing post-decisional dissonance? Hope no.

Google is really a very advance and useful technology. (:

Hope I won't get too dependent on it! :D

HAPPY 21ST

2010-06-21T15:00:00.000+08:00

Finally the 21st June. (:
Spent the day with my loveliest sister
ate at XINWANG TAIWAN CAFE for lunch.
went to shop at SUNTEC.
headed down to ORCHARD ION, WISMA,
then to SOMERSET 313, and CINELEISURE.
she is forever the sweetest person to me. (:
i felt so bad that i actually left her to head home alone
while i waited for haojie. so sorry babe.

Delicated to POH XUE NI.
Girl, I enjoyed the day with you even though it's just normal shopping. (:
I love walking around, arm in arm, with you.
Sorry to cause you all those backaches. x)
and i love what you wrote on my FB wall for my birthday.
it's so touching, and i felt so fortunate to have you as my sister. (:
do continue to be my lovely baby sister ok?
stay healthy, pretty, funny, and stressfree. LOL!
LOVE YOU TTM!

- - - - -

Headed to CINELEISURE and catch a movie with HaoJie.
Watched " She's out of my League "
Not too bad. (: Surprising the sister was celebrating her 21st birthday in the show.
LOL! Okay, that's quite pointless. =X HAHA!
We headed down to POCKET FULL OF POSIES for dinner. (:
I love that place the first time I saw it. Why?
Cos of the two tables at the entrance/glass wall.
The chairs are SWINGS!
YES! SWINGS YOU KNOW!
plus, it's actually in a florist.
everything look so damn pretty.
the food was not too bad too. (:
Shall go there for some meet up dinners with friends. :D
We took quite a lot of photos, and when HaoJie went to make the payment,
he saw a sign "NO PHOTOGRAPHY".
LOL! so paiseh. but we did apologize to them. (:
headed back home after that. short celebration.
but well, i was dining so happily in that environment. xD LOL!

So friends, let's go there for dinner sometime! (:
Pricing, kind of like Swensens price? Main course is about 15bucks.

- - - - -

Thank you to all those friends who left their wishes on my FB walls,
and special thanks to those who smsed. (: Usually I prefer SMSes.
To me, they are those that really remember my birthday.
Since FB has the function of telling people whose birthday is it daily,
and I know some of those who wished on FB actually don't know my birthday. =X
BUT! of course there are exceptional that I know they remember my birthday. (:
Nonetheless, THANK YOU ALL FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES! :D

P.S. Never ever wish me early happy birthday on the 20th June when you knew my birthday is on the 21st! I get irritated and pissed of with that. =X thanks. (:

May the both of you Rest in Peace.

2010-06-14T16:59:00.000+08:00

Although time spent with you wasn't much,
but whenever I see you, you always carry a smile.
I believe you are one great Banquet Assistant Manager.
I am glad knowing you.
Jeffrey, may you rest in peace.
You'll be missed.

- - - - -

Known you for years I could say.
You have always been a handsome looking and cool guy to me.
I love seeing you smile, and also having small chats with you.
You are one wonderful chef.
It's my honour to know you.
Chef Jeff, may you rest in peace.
You'll be missed.

tWENDY one

2010-06-13T14:59:00.000+08:00

happy birthday, in advance. (:
i enjoyed myself on this celebration day.
without the love from the loved ones,
this day won't be a success.
love all you.
- - - - -

Love this family. (:

Love all these members, ttm. (:

the basketball clique. (:

friendship that lasted a decade. (:

secondary school friends.
friendship that would continue on. (:

the early childhood loves.

the SGC workaholics. (:

the psychologists-to-be. (:

simply joyful

2010-06-09T23:34:00.000+08:00

12th June is just a few days away.
Well, I was regretting about planning such a celebration recently.
Why? Too much details to take note of,
and worries as well.
But nonetheless, seeing how excited my friends were towards the day,
it's enough to beat all those "regrets". (:
and now, im looking forward to the day too.
i might get busy and tired, but i know it would be fun.
and of course filled with LOVE.
right? (:

- - - - -

lots of people have been asking me this question,
what's on your wishlist?
i do have a list of items that i wanted.
but they are things that i wanted to get by myself.
they are simply too expensive. (:
thanks for the thought love ones.
to me, it's the thoughts that count, not the number of presents.
just show up on the 12th, and i will be happy enough, ya? :D

- - - - -

had a reunion with primary school friends in FB recently!
the feeling was indescribable. (:
but im sure it's POSITIVE feelings.
very positive ones. :D
that's one great thing i love about facebook. (:
it brings long-lost friends together.

case of wendy's lost itouch

2010-05-30T00:17:00.001+08:00

as many has known from facebook regarding my lost itouch.
i have decided to make a police report.
i guess it's the only way to make myself feel better.
hopefully the police really can track the itouch down.
at least it would be a lesson for the culprit(s).

honestly, i hope i made the wrong conclusion.
but well, let's just leave it to the police to handle it.
and of course, i would love to share how i felt towards this issue with my friends,
my close friends whom i could trust.
i won't blog much about it,
but if you ask me about it, and i keep nothing from you, that means i believe you are someone i could trust. (:

somehow, the culprit(s) doesn't seem to be feeling remorseful or regretful about taking something that their friend cherished alot.
we shall see.

what goes around comes around. (:

does prayers work?

2010-05-23T23:51:00.000+08:00

i just hope he could get what he wanted.
does praying for him works?
i really hope it does.
cos i just want him to love what he will be doing.
- - - - -

remember my entry mentioning about the lost of my itouch?
and who i suspected took it?
well, today the younger sister wrote something on my facebook wall,
and haojie noted something and told me.
the wall post was posted via iphone.
usually when you post something via iphone or itouch,
you could see the device or any other phones.
even it's obviously them, how am i suppose to confront them?
):

quick updates

2010-05-16T12:14:00.000+08:00

as mentioned in the previous entry that im joining the kitchen to work for this week.
and i finally managed to squeeze out an off day to update!
have been working in both kitchen and banquet department for this week.
mostly is in the kitchen.
maybe i have been with banquet for too long, and had already knew all the things,
i find kitchen working environment so much fun and interesting!
everything seems new to me. (:
great experience.
although it's tiring to work both departments, but it was really fun.
and of course the cash flows in. WOOHOO! haha!

not forgetting the negative sides, im really damn tired.
everyday 10am start work, yet work till late night.
plus the 2 departments are actually having conflicts about the part timers.
all thanks to that childish banquet captain. :\
whatever as long as im not affected directly. (:
- - - - - -

going to plan for my birthday celebration today!
& hopefully everything will be smooth, or maybe that's too unrealistic.
alright then, hope the hiccups will be small. =X

and im wanted to get so many things!
expensive things. :\
like a new phone and an itouch?
people would ask me to get iphone, that's the combination of the two.
hahha! we shall see. (:

trust vs mistrust

2010-05-08T14:30:00.000+08:00

after having a short "confession" talk.
i decided to delete that heartbreaking sms,
and put all my trust back on him again.
like how it was in the past. (:
to some, i might be stupid to just forget it
and trust him back totally again.
but, it's okay. nobody is to blame for this.
- - - - -

i lost my itouch.
yes. i lost it. :\
a x'mas gift from haojie. careless? i doubt so.
i suspect it was stolen.
and it was one of my close sisters at work.
i felt bad for suspecting her.
but everything seem to fall into place.
whatever it is, i can't get it back already.
and, im not going to confront anyone or whatever.
but im going to protect myself somehow, from her.
& it's the very first time i lost something, and something so meaningful and dear to me.
- - - - -

joining the kitchen to work next week.
hope everything would be fun. (:

戒不掉

2010-05-05T22:38:00.000+08:00

黑夜将城市笼罩
想念蔓延在细胞
想你的拥抱你的微笑
想到快要疯掉
爱你到莫名其妙
什么已无可救药
没有你会死掉
我不再开心的笑
痛苦在胸口燃烧
在你离开以后
寂寞把我逼进了墙角
不听别人的劝告
才掉进你的圈套
现在知道却放不掉
世界慢慢的变老
戒不掉对你的依靠
失去重心该怎么好
每个表情都能治疗相思的煎熬
戒不掉你对我的好
像被关在想念的牢
只剩寂寞缠绕着我
我无路可逃
就是戒不掉对你的依靠
就是戒不掉你对我的好

the wounds

2010-05-04T01:36:00.001+08:00

You said time will heal all the wounds.
Really?

If so, I hope it doesn't take long.
I am very uncomfortable about how I am feeling now.
It's simply incomplete.

折叠式爱情

2010-05-03T13:24:00.000+08:00

一起在海边吹风忽然有流星划过
滚烫的手降落肩头
能强烈感觉胸口的震动
偶尔温柔的热络含有暗示的幽默
你想什麼我不太懂
只晓得期待越多越难过
你带著可以折叠的爱情
我在等不会变形的真心
被抱在你怀里却要提防你
爱要多聪明才能逃得过哭泣
走走停停的时钟深深浅浅的互动
你没有说一句爱我
却把我摆在爱的氛围中
你带著可以折叠的爱情
我在等不会变形的真心
被抱在你怀里却要提防你
你那种可以折叠的爱情
爱要多聪明才能逃得过哭泣
带给我夹著开心的伤心
有时候挣扎著陷落在泥泞
有时又忘了一切的飞行
这是幸福的等候或心酸的前奏
要放下太多的疑惑才能专心去快乐
你那种可以折叠的爱情
带给我夹著开心的伤心
有时又忘了一切的飞行
有时候挣扎著陷落在泥泞
面对你可以折叠的爱情
该要用什麼样子的表情
为什麼不能问不能更透明
想要保护自尊的爱藏著孤寂

once again

2010-05-02T22:12:00.000+08:00

It simply reminded me of that particular day 5 to 6 years ago.
It's the actual same suspicious and feelings I had back then.
I am really very worried.
I am really afraid that my trust and faith in you would be betrayed
out of no where and for no reason.
Please tell me that I'm thinking too much.

silence is golden.

2010-05-02T00:50:00.000+08:00

If keeping silent could avoid frictions with someone else,
I guess Silence is then Gold.

I know some might disagree with this.
But, this is what I feel, today.
Was suppose to be a day out, shopping for my black skirt for work.
Ended up accompany haojie to get his new phone.
Went to Plaza Singapura first. No stock.
Honestly, I just thought we would shop around awhile and look for my black skirt,
before heading off to another starhub centre at orchard.
but, sadly, no.
He was really in a bad mood, and I just have to shut up.
Even by shutting up, he picked on my actions and behaviors.
Yeah. Lucky him, I have a good temper. =X
But obvious facial expression I guess? He knew my face was totally black.
Somehow, I know his bad mood is due to the "out of stock, but i still want to get my phone badly!" feelings. Keeping quiet and not say the wrong things is the best at that particular moment.
Guess I was right? Why? Cos once we found the starhub centre, got stock for his phone,
he apologized and said that he knew he shouldn't threw temper and he could see from my face that im unhappy.
Well, since he already apologised, what can i do?
Tell him how unhappy i was, then start another quarrel?
Nah. I just smiled and told myself it's okay.
Everyone's excited about getting their phones, and most people are concern with their own things, and ignore the others. In this case, my shopping for the needs.
After getting his phone, finally some shopping for my skirt.
At least we did some. Physically is "we", but seem more like "I".
He was literally following me, like im some princess doing shopping, and needed someone to carry those things. -.-" just that he was too obsess with the new phone.
Again, I convinced myself that it's okay.
Everyone is interested in new gadgets, at least most guys do?
Even though I am really burning inside, and so upset and sian about the day that I actually looked forward to turning out to be this way. :\

& that's why, i realised that im kept quiet about alot of things today,
applying strategies to reduce whatever unhappiness within myself.
i guess, i did the right thing to keep my mouth shut, contain unhappy thing to myself.
at least it would have prevent several frictions, which would spoil the day more?

- - - - -
sometimes, i feel that im keeping too much things to myself.
i don't have much self-disclosure with people around me at times.
is that even normal?
after learning about social psychology, somehow most people do disclose information about themselves to people they love like friends and all.
but i think im doing very little of those. :\
maybe i should learn to open myself up more?
should i ?

let's jump up high

2010-04-30T21:08:00.000+08:00

Let's Jump Up High! :D
I'm all ready to be drown in the 4 months
free from school readings! (:
- - - - -

P.S. Don't ask me anything about the Stats Paper.
I just want it to be left behind in the examination hall.
I'll get it back on results day.

one last deadly one.

2010-04-30T10:14:00.000+08:00

the day i've been looking forward to during this period of time.
my last and final paper for this semester. (:
knowing i have to go through such period a few more years,
but it's okay. at least i get to enjoy after 5pm today.
last paper, statistics, same as last semester.
what a coincidence huh?
but i do not hope that my grades would be the same though.
it was terrible than any horrible vegetable for last sem.
im going to put as much fertilizer as i can to prevent it from rotting. (:
- - - - - -
yesterday's film paper was alright? lols.
mcq questions were easy. short answers, not really.
but im so happy that we are asked to define "Fred Astaire". x) that 2marks confirm get! =X
the 3 essays, 20marks, 30marks, 30marks, killers!
don't even have time to really organize my points.
and i don't know why my friends can write up to 4 pages for a question!
i can only manage to write 2 pages per question, & i don't have time to really complete all the questions properly either. -.-"
let's hope for a decent grade, cos im the only one who didn't s/u it. :\
- - - - - -
back to studies, and shall post a happy entry tonight after i officially end my paper.
and seriously, im so excited now! xD

TOP HAT

2010-04-29T09:55:00.000+08:00

Studying for Fictional Film

makes me want to watch

Top Hat, again!

Simply love this musical. (:

time flies or slows down?

2010-04-29T00:39:00.000+08:00

it's already Wednesday.
Tomorrow is Thursday (Fictional Film Paper).
The Day After is Friday (Statistics Paper).
Shall I say time flies? or it slows down?
I kind of feel that time passed rather fast when Im really studying and reading my lecture notes. An hour seem like 15 minutes.
But when I think back, time seem to pass much slower than usual school days.
It's always *blink*, and it's Friday. Why not these two weeks?
Is it just me? Or everyone in exam period felt this way?
I'm convincing myself that two days would pass by very quickly.
Tomorrow paper is at 5pm, till 7pm.
Reach home, eat and bath, study a bit, sleep.
Wake up, Friday, paper is at 2.30pm to 5pm, can study abit early in the morning.
Then, im off for my last paper. (: Sound Fast eh? Hope it really would be. (:
Off to bed. Got to read up on Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Monsoon Wedding, Top Hat analysis points that I wrote, and some other key terms for the course.
Good Luck Wendy.

another one down, two more to go.

2010-04-27T20:01:00.000+08:00

as the title said it all. (:
done with social psychology!
it's really an interesting module,
but simply too much terms and experiments to remember!
Well, it's over and done with. (:
Coming up, Fictional Film and Statistics,
back to back!
The positive side it'll be over much faster with two papers back to back.
The negative side, it's STATISTICS and FILM!
I won't mind if it's developmental psychology with film.
Just, why two of my weakest modules? :\
I seriously need to buck up, and STICK TO MY PLAN!
Im really a "leader of tomorrow".

P.S. I looking forward to the holidays!
Even if I need to work, I don't mind! :D

interpersonal relationships

2010-04-26T11:41:00.001+08:00

What causes Attraction between people?
1) The Propinquity Effect / Proximity
It means that the more you expose and interact with someone, the more likely you will become friends with the person. For example, Westgate West Building study. Two types of distances were measured, the physical and functional. Physical distance refers to how far the doors are apart from each other, and functional distance refers to the architectural aspects of the building such as the stairs and mailboxes area. At the end of the studies, these participants are asked to list out 3 best friends, and about 40% mentioned their next door neighbours, 20% mentioned neighbours who are two doors away and 10% mentioned the opposite ends neighbours.
"Mere Exposure Effect" meaning that the more one is exposed to a stimulus, the more likely that they will have positive evaluation about the stimulus. Another experiment was done by Moreland & Beach. They planted a female confederate into different classrooms. She did not interact with anyone, and will just sit in the first row of the class. At the end of the semester, students were asked to evaluate the attractiveness of the female confederate's personality. And results show that the more visits the female confederate made to a class, the more positive evaluations were made by the students about her personality even they did not interact with her.
Remember how you feel when you first see your new classmates? Or entering a new working environment? Well, we would usually feel mild discomfort and uneasiness. But not to worry! It's normal for us to feel this way! It is because of evolutionary adaptive, meaning that we will be uncertain of potential danger when we first met someone, and it's alright to feel mild discomfort. With repeat exposure to someone, without any negative consequences, positive emotions will increase. (:

2) Similarity
Ever wonder why you could be close to a particular friend or someone? It is due to similarity! We are more attracted to people who we are similar with in attitudes, values, beliefs and preferences, this is known as the attitude-similarity effect. How about people who have very different beliefs, values and preferences from us? We tend to like them less, or dislike them, this is known as the Repulsion Hypothesis. An experiment was done by randomly assign male students to their dormitory at the start of the school year. At the end of the school year, they became friends. Reasons could be their similarity in demographic areas (e.g. coming from same country), or similarity in attitudes and personality. Another study had also shown that gay men with stereotypical masculine traits would prefer their partner to be logical, and gay men with stereotypical feminine traits would prefer their partner to be more affective. According to the Matching Hypothesis, people would usually choose a partner who are of similar physical attractiveness as them. And it is proven that couples who are most similar on the level of attractiveness fell more deeply in love after 9 months!
Similarity is important in a relationship as people who are similar to us validate our characteristics and values, and make us feel that we are right. We would tend to make negative influences about someone who disagrees with us on IMPORTANT issues.

3) Reciprocal Liking
Everyone likes to be liked by someone. Knowing that someone else likes us will make us more likely to initiate a relationship with the person, and we will usually like the person back. Sometimes, this could be due to self-fulfilling prophecy. A study was conducted by pairing students up. The students will then be told privately that either the other student like or dislike them before the start of their interaction. Observations had shown that students who know the other party likes them behaves in a more pleasant manner, disagrees less on the discussion and there were more self-disclosure.

4) Physical Attractiveness
"Never judge a book by its cover", how true is this saying? Saying is easy, doing is hard? A study (Elaine) was conducted by pairing college students up for a blind date at a dance. Although they all took personality tests before the study, they were being randomly paired up. During the dance, they were chatting with their date for a few hours. After the dance, they were asked if they would date their dating partner again. There could be a few determinants to whether they will like to date their partners again, such as intelligence, sensitivity, or independence. But what overrides all these determinants is physical attractiveness! There is no gender difference in this results as both females and males values physical attractiveness similarly. Another study was also carried out by Regan. Participants were asked to rank 23 desirable traits (inclusive of physical attractiveness) in a potential sexual partner (meaning not a serious relationship). Later it was found out that both genders ranked physical attractiveness as the most desirable trait in a potential DATING partner. How about a potential MARRIAGE partner? Well, males see physical attractiveness as more important in their potential marriage partner compared to the females.
What is considered to be physically attractive? Some standards for physical attractiveness in males are big eyes, prominent cheekbones, wide chin, wide smile; females would be big eyes, prominent cheekbones, small chin, wide smile, high eyebrows, large pupils, narrow cheeks. People from across the cultures are proven to have the same perception of physical attractiveness. Symmetrical faces are seen to be more attractive than asymmetrical ones. Symmetrical faces are regard as markers for good health, "good genes", overall high quality of development, ability to resist the environmental stressors, and ability to cope with challenges of the environment. Computer-generated average face is also more attractive than most of the normal average faces that it is constructed from. Human beings have a natural selection that favors average features than extreme features (e.g. too big, too small). People have prototypes of human faces, and average faces are consider to be more prototypical. For bodily features, what is attractive then? The "S" shape figure? Hah. Well, for males, the Waist to Hip ratio (W:H) should be close to 1, and for females should be less than 1.

What Happen to our Brain when we fall in Love?
Study was conducted with college students from New York who claimed that they are "intensely in love". They are to bring a photograph of their beloved and a photo of a acquaintance of the same age and gender as their beloved. A brain scan (fMRI) was done while showing them the photograph of their beloved to them. Result shows that Ventral Tegmental Area (VTA) of the brain was highly active! It is described to be similar to someone who ingest cocaine! The feeling of euphoria, restlessness and sleeplessness! Another way to active your VTA is to EAT CHOCOLATES, especially dark chocolates.

Close Relationships Theories
What make us stay in a relationship?
Social Exchange Theory
This theory explains that when in a relationship, one would maximize their rewards and minimize the costs they have to incur. If the benefit is more than the cost, one would stay in the relationship, but leave if benefits are less than the cost. How people feel about their relationship would depend on (1) the amount of rewards they would receive from the relationship, (2) the amount of cost they have to incur into the relationship, (3) their perception of what kind of relationship they deserved and (4) the possibility of them having a better relationship with someone else. There are two types of comparison levels - Initial expectation and Comparison level with alternatives. Initial expectation refers to people's expectation of the amount of rewards and punishments he/she would received from a particular relationship. Current and further relationships could be affected due to past relationships. Comparison level with alternatives is one's expectation of the rewards and punishments they would received in an alternative relationship with someone else.
What if I have commitment in a relationship? Would I still consider about the alternatives? Commitment and evaluation of alternatives influences each other. Over time, rewards in a relationship would increase, so do the cost. However, satisfaction would decrease. Commitment in a relationship could make one feel that the other alternatives are less appealing compared to the current partner.
What are the predictors for break-up? There are three predictors - The Satisfaction level of the relationship, the level of investment in the relationship and the comparison level of alternatives in the relationship. The higher commitment one has in these areas, the less likely they would break up.

Equity Theory
This theory explained the idea that people are most happy when rewards and costs, and contributions made by both parties in a relationship are roughly equal. In an inequitable relationship, there would be someone who feel either overbenefited or underbenefited. Both parties would feel uneasy about such inequity. One who felt overbenefited would feel guilty for not contributing as much. This is a type of social norm that one would feel guilty if he/she is receiving more than what they deserved. There are two types of relationship - exchange relationship and communal relationship. One would governed exchange relationship with the need for equity. There should be equal amount of rewards and costs for both parties involved. Such relationship is usually between acquaintances. For communal relationship, an individual's main concern is being responsive the needs of the other person, regardless if the other party would give back or not. This is usually the relationship between families, very close friends and romantic partners.

Attachment Styles - Ainsworth
1. Secure Attachment
Trusting, not concern about being abandoned.
Parents are responsive to child's needs and usually interact with positive emotions.
Most stable and lasting relationships.
2. Avoidant Attachment
Suppression of attachment needs, difficulty in getting close with others.
Parents are usually aloof and distant. Reject the child's initiative for intimacy.
Least likely to get into a romantic relationship.
3. Anxious-Ambivalent Attachment
Anxious that someone would leave them.
Worried that people will not reciprocate their desire for intimacy.
Most upset and angry with their love are not reciprocated.

Implicit Theories of Relationships
Do you believe that love is destined or it can be cultivated?
For people who believe that it is destined : Destiny Theory (Innate Compatibility)
For people who believe that it can be cultivated : Growth Theory (Compatibility can be cultivated)
How do these different beliefs in the theories affect or influence relationships?
Perceived Changeability of Partner and Relationship
Destiny Theory:
People would believe that there are elements of fixedness in partner and self, meaning that personality of self and partners could not be change, hence resulting in low perceived changeability in partner and the relationship.
Growth Theory:
People would have the willingness to compromise to their partner and relationship, and believe that there is high changeability in the partner and relationship.

Reactions to Negative Events in the Relationship
Destiny Theory:
As destiny theorists would believe that their partners cannot be change, and they would see negative events in the relationship as suggestion to incompatibility between the partner and them. Usually negative events would be cope by disengaging.
Growth Theory:
Unlike the destiny theorist, for growth theorists, they would see negative events/conflicts in a relationship as opportunities to enhance the relationship, and they would usually resolve the conflicts with effective coping strategies.

Relationship Dissolution and Reflection after Breakup
Destiny Theory:
More likely to initiate break up, and less likely to remain on friendly terms with partner after break up.
Growth Theory:
Less likely to initiate break up, and less likely to say "it was never meant to be".

Which theory is better than? Destiny or Growth?
Well, the best would be having a partner that believe in the same theory as you.
And there is neither one that is better than the other. It depends on the situation as well as the interaction partner. (:

renovation, again.

2010-04-26T10:25:00.000+08:00

Social Psy Paper tomorrow.
Again, not a good start for the day.
Set my alarm at 7am. I know I would snooze till around 8 plus. =X
But who knows, I didn't even realise that my alarm had already went off.
Guess my Dad came in and turn it off for me. Yes, OFF. Not even snooze it.
I'm glad that I am not having any morning paper or afternoon paper today!
If not, I think I will missed the paper! Gosh.
Oh, and I woke up at 9am. (:
The moment I open my eyes, the drilling begins!
Damn it. One day before my next paper. No peace!
Wanted to pay RP a visit, yet it started raining.
What a GREAT morning. :\

behind time? definitely!

2010-04-25T16:09:00.000+08:00

just finished writing the notes for Social Psy.
im seriously behind time now. -.-"
got to write CS119's notes today.
got to devote tomorrow for social psy cos Tues is the paper.
Lucky that Tues is early paper. till 11.30am only.
Need to spend Tues on Statistics!
Wed on Statistics or CS119? :\ Dilemma.
- - - - -
I'm feeling so guilty for using facebook and blogging
when im so clear that im behind time! ):
seriously, i know Saturday / Labour Day will come soon. Real soon. (:

Social Psychology - Conformity, Compliance & Obedience

2010-04-24T12:47:00.001+08:00

As mentioned in the previous entry. (:
I would update a little on what I have touched on yesterday.
Although I have not started on the memory work, but at least I wrote the notes!

Conformity

· When we change our response to real/imagined social pressure.

· People usually conform because they want to be accepted by others.

· They usually see other people as a source of information.

o Informational Social Influence

Informational Social Influence

· The influence of others people leads us to conform as we see them as a source of information to guide our behavior.

· We would conform to the behavior of the source, and we usually choose the “source” to observe.

· An experiment done was Sherif’s Autokinetic Study (1936)

When do people conform?

· Situation is ambiguous

· Situation is a crisis

o Need immediate action (e.g. Outbreak of Fire)

· When other people are experts

o More expertise/knowledge a person is, the more likely he/she will be the source of information in an ambiguous situation. (e.g. Fireman)

Importance of Being Accurate

- A study on eyewitness identification was done.

- 3 confederates gave the wrong answers, and will the participants conform?

- When things are more important, people would be more likely to seek answer from others and conform.

How long do Informational Social Influence last?

- Study was done, and it was shown that it can actually last about 10 generations!

Normative Social Influence

- The influences of others that make us conform in order to be like or accepted by them.

- People usually conform to groups’ social norms.

o Group social norms refer to the implicit or explicit rules a group has for the acceptance behaviors, values and beliefs for its own member.

- Usually such conformity would lead to public compliance with the group beliefs and behaviors, but not necessarily private acceptance of those beliefs and behaviors.

o Meaning that one might conform to the groups’ beliefs and behaviors, but privately do not agree with those beliefs or behaviors.

- Asch Line Judgment Study was done.

o Results shown that there is high conformity rate.

o Participants would conform to the other confederates’ answers even knowing that it was wrong, but will still think their own judgment is correct.

o Reason for conforming would be that they do not want to risk social disapproval.

- Manipulations do to Asch Line Judgment Study

o Participants to write answers on a paper instead of saying out loud.

o One of the confederates to choose the same answer as the participants.

o One of the confederates to choose a answer between the correct answer and what the other confederates chose.

o One of the confederates to choose an answer that is even more obviously wrong than what the majority has chosen.

o All these manipulations have caused the conformity rate to drop.

o Reason being that the unanimity of the group of confederates was broken.

- When everyone in the group has the same opinions, there will be more group pressure; hence one would have the tendency to conform to the pressure.

- But, if there were one or two (or more) members in the group that disagree with the majority of the group, group’s unanimity will be broken, and hence conformity will drop.

When will people conform?

- People usually conform due to 3 variables

o Strength: how important is the group to you?

o Immediacy: how close to you are the group in space and time during the attempt of influencing you?

o Number: how many people are there in the group?

- When strength and immediacy increase, conformity will increase.

- When group size increase to 3 or more, conformity did not increase much.

- By conforming to group overtime help one to earn idiosyncrasy credits, and with enough of idiosyncrasy credits, one can then behave defiantly with the group rejection without worrying about being disapproval by the group.

- When one has no ally in the group, he/she would tend to conform.

- - - - -
There are actually MORE!
but I think people would get rather bored by all these facts. xD
Update more interesting one next time bahs. x)
Oh, if you managed to read until this line,
You can go youtube or google for those experiments and watch! :D
Kind of funny and interesting. x)

just another random update

2010-04-23T15:50:00.000+08:00

had a bad start for the day.
got waken up by the musical performance of my neighbour's renovation.
great thing about it is that i got the VIP seats! (:
it's just directly above my bedroom (and bed!)
me and my sister were wondering if they were trying to drill a hole through the ceiling and kidnap us.
well, lucky the ceiling are rather thick.
but I have to praise them for being so determined.
it was the bedroom, then the living room.
they seem to be stalking us with some radar technology or whatsoever.
i moved to the living room to study, they moved to living room too.
although no more drilling, but more knockings (which is much better than drilling).
soon, the knockings get softer. though the performance ended.
but NO! guess some people asked for encore?
i was guessing that they were dancing and singing too high on stage,
and as I was concentrating on writing my notes,
there's a sudden LOUD NOISE, sounded like they dropped a whole box of tools, tiles and anything you can think of that are heavy onto the floor.
you got it, i got a GREAT BIG SHOCK as i was writing, and my pen line went way offfffff on the paper. -.-" and came a second one again.
lastly and finally as I was writing this entry, it was silence. (:
finally some peaceeeee, not.
now, the ice cream man ringing the bell downstairs. (it's ok. he will be gone soon)
guess that's enough for a morning & early afternoon of musical performance.
- - - - -

Went to one of my friend's blog, and saw one of his entry
regarding something that happened yesterday after the paper.
i had a hard time laughing at his lameness and creativity. xD
the scene went this wayyyy:

Felicia: So, how's the paper?
Guoyong: Oh, the paper was fine. BUT I'M NOT. hahahahaha.
Felicia: *she couldn't stop laughing for quite a while*
Felicia: means the paper is in good condition, no tears or crumples right!
Felicia: *continues to laugh*
Guoyong: Ya, it was in perfect condition! :D

I was laughing so hard at the side as well.
But that's a good sign that she's laughing. (:
She received some bad news after the paper,
hopefully she's fine now. Stay Strong Girl!
- - - - -

Quite a long random entry. x)
I'm rather bored with my studies already. =X
Maybe I should try blogging out some interest facts
about what I studied for my Social Psychology eh?
That would benefit people who read my blog. HAH!

Developmental Psychology

2010-04-22T18:59:00.000+08:00

End of First Paper - Developmental Psychology.
So much for all those memory work,
those spelling learning,
acetylchoine, gamma aminobutyic acid, dopamine.
But well, that's for my own benefit. (:
20 MCQs, honestly, I did it in like 10 to 15mins?
Know most of the answers, and as usual,
sure will have some that cannot decide on the answer. (:
the 1 compulsory essay question. 30marks!
that's the real killer. -.-"
to discuss continuity-discontinuity debate,
and to give 3 theories and explain the debate. -.-"
P.S. it's like to discuss "Nature VS Nurture". but well, that will be much easier!
and did i mention that I DID NOT STUDY ON THAT nor PREPARED!?
HAH! good game liaoooo.
next, 3 choose 2 essay questions. 25marks each.
Another heavy weightage component.
Lucky me, cos I don't know how to answer one of them,
but I am clear about the answers for the other 2. x)
but well, i already threw every piece of information i can think of
but i doubt can get the full 25marks lahs. LOL!
- - - - -
Next paper, Social Psychology 27th.
With remaining 4 days, I need to study 3 modules!
Social Psychology, Fictional Film, and Stats!
All these three are my weak, weaker and weakest modules!
GREAT! -.-"

enjoyable lunch

2010-04-16T11:24:00.000+08:00

out of our busy and different work and school schedule,
we finally managed to have a short meet up over lunch.
it's really a short one that lasted about an hour.
it's so nice to be meeting these ladies after such a long time!
the usually catching up and laughter. (:
have to wait till May for more gatherings liaooo.

All the dates I have arranged till end of April are all with my lecture notes, textbooks and examinations! :\ well, that's part and parcel of a student's life. can't do anything to it, right?

All the best for whatever papers you have people! (:

running out of time

2010-04-13T15:28:00.000+08:00

title & picture say it all.
hello exams!

considering

2010-04-11T11:23:00.000+08:00

birthday celebrations never fails to warm one's heart.
(well, that's what i think)
went for Felicia's 21st, at Costa Sands Downtown East.
Seeing how her relatives, friends from different walks of life,
her loved ones, all gathered together,
it's really touching and heartwarming. (:

Saw Huishan (sec sch senior) in school on Friday,
she was asking if I am holding a birthday celebration,
why? cos she wanted to attend mine! hah.
cute girl isn't she? xD
Honestly, some other things she mentioned did set me thinking,
maybe I should have one as a gathering?

Combined the above two situations,
really make me think I should have one. (:
Just a small one, to gather all my loved ones,
those i haven't see for a long time,
those i missed badly.
well, although i think most of the poly ladies will be in Boston?

okayy. leave this aside first. (:
exams over already then start planning. LOL.
initial 20% of having a celebration is now increased,
maybe 60%? hah.

thicker hair

2010-04-09T18:47:00.000+08:00

i want a volumized hair.
i want my hair to grow thicker.
i want my hair to be healthier.

dreams

2010-04-08T23:16:00.000+08:00

dreams.
what actually are they?
- - - - -
what is/are your dream(s)?
why do you have that/those dream(s)?
are you working towards it/them?
how did you work towards it/them?
- - - - -

a chat with joanne really sets me thinking,
why do i dream to be a child psychologist?
im so not convinced by my own reasons;
But, somehow i know that there's a real reason behind this dream,
that is hidden deep down somewhere i can't reach, yet.
i will find out this reason after some time, i believe i would.

thanks beloved. (: although i became your "subject" for you to practice your "questioning/empathizing" skills on me, but i appreciate and is grateful for your help. (:

predictions & loves

2010-04-08T08:31:00.000+08:00

it's over. (:
yups. the fearful presentation on tiger woods.
it's done.
somehow i can predict my own flaws in presenting,
and i couldn't control it. -.-"
i made the same mistake even though i foresee it. hah.
whatever. it's over for now.
will worry about it the next public presentation.
- - - - -

So, what's up next?
Yea, the stats project work which I am totally lost in.
Hopefully my group members would get irritated due to my questioning about the proj.
LOL!
- - - - -

Meiryl and Felicia's birthdays are coming up.
Seeing these uni friends prepare those cards,
and writing those wishes for them really made me
felt LOVED.
weird huh? not for me i also felt loved. haha!
imagine those are for me, i could be shedding tears of touched-ness?
well, except the black, sexy lingerie present maybe. HAH!
I do hope they would be surprised, and love those as much/more than i do.
they made me feel that they are just like those poly sisters.
even though there are guys this time,
but they can be real sweet and motivating (not to mention lameness) at times.
im starting to enjoy their company. that's a good sign! (:
one step at a time! :D
- - - - -

i do miss those days spent on writing birthday wishes,
handmaking those birthday cards, laughing at each others' craft work,
teasing each other at some random speech errors.
those were the days (i sounded old. -.-")
- - - - -

P.S. I LOVE BIRTHDAYS & SPECIAL OCCASIONS.
it's the time that you could receive or spread love to others. (:

amaze people

2010-04-07T13:51:00.000+08:00

how do i feel now?
damn nervous can!
such feelings made me recall about the public speaking assignment i had done back in poly days.
miss chong's class. can't remember is which module.
effective communication i suppose? the one whereby we need to stand infront of two tutorial classes and give a 3 minutes speech i think? LOL!
well, this time is a presentation, 5 minutes per group member.
im so nervous now! so not confident in my speech.
i kept stopping and thinking about the sentence structure. -.-"
that's really bad.
- - - - -
im consistently telling myself that it's just a 5min presentation.
& i should be making full use of this 5mins to amaze others,
not let them criticize or laugh about me being shakey and nervous!
come on wendy! you can do it!
remember the spotlight effect! nobody is noticing you!
- - - - -
shall update about the presentation after im done with it. (:
JIAYOU WENDY!
- - - - -

P.S. someone actually reminded me that i once was a teacher! and i should be confident enough to be giving a presentation to a class. well, i shall try treating them as those little kids tomorrow. LOL!

2010-04-06T16:16:00.000+08:00

“Anyone can easily walk away from somebody else.
Nobody is forced to stay;
we all have choices.
The real test is if someone would rather stay with you,
even though walking away could be so much easier.”

- cited from xueni's blog.

short getaway plan

2010-04-04T23:29:00.000+08:00

wondering if i should have a short getaway trip.
with whoever wants to come along.
im thinking about it,
but the problem is,
where can i get the money?
HAH!
- - - - -
let's just think and plan for it. (:
after my exams.

plain white

2010-04-04T01:00:00.000+08:00

it's just some random entry,
main objective is to brighten up my blog.
it was so pale without any photos in my entries!
so, there you go! (:
SBSP yellowness is here to brighten it!
- - - - -
i'm trying to make myself more positive
about going back to school
on a SATURDAY!
damn sian can?!

daily updates (:

2010-04-03T14:30:00.000+08:00

im quite happy that im actually motivated to kind of read up my lecture notes. (:
although i only spent a little time on them, but well, at least it's some progression!
wrote out a script for my presentation as well.
somehow i can't seem to remember those points.
funny thing is, tomorrow (Saturday) the group is meeting up for a rehearsal.
it's just a rehearsal among ourselves, and im feeling all panicky and nervous. -.-"
can't imagine when i have to stand infront of the whole tutorial class.
i might even faint or became mute. =X
well, i kept telling myself to do it well!
impress people rather than making them look down on you! right? (:
they can present well, so can i!
jiayouss ar wendy!
- - - - -
Wonder if the healing rally Joanne mentioned would be useful.
Well, just give it a try right? No harm. (:
- - - - -
I'm so in the mood to start mugging for exams!
yet, all those projects and meetings are actually irritating me. =X
well, not meetings with friends for leisure though. xD HAH!
realistic.
- - - - -

Let's just hope for the best for tomorrow. (:

another blow

2010-04-02T09:00:00.000+08:00

another big blow today.
didn't do well for my elective. :\
work 10x harder for finals then.
- - - - -

just heard from a friend (fel) that another friend (shoshi)
is actually mugging as hard as he studied for his Os now!
that's really hardworking can?!
i doubt i could do that, weekly (not to mention daily or once every two days).
- - - - -

Anyway, today's lecture watched a black and white film
which i thought was really nice. (:

Top Hat (1935). It's a musical + comedy + romance.
The lecture was about film genres. (:
The film is nice! No wonder it was the top moneymaker film back then. HAH!
People, go catch it online if possible. It will not disappoint you. ;)
- - - - -

Friday! Time to start revision!
Work hard Wendy!
Be discipline! (:

Dream

2010-04-01T00:25:00.000+08:00

dream is never easily attainable.
if it is, it's not a dream anymore.
- - - - -
Maybe that's why it's never easy for me
to take up psychology.
And maybe that's why it's never easy
for uni studies.
- - - - -
Uni and poly is no longer the same.
time to leave your teens Wendy.
time to study real hard,
and be a nerd (that's what haojie said).
it's now or never.
- - - - -
Come on Wendy, I believe you can do it.
It has been your interest to attend school,
reading lecture slides, understanding the content,
and learning new things!
Keep this interest going in you! (:

JIAYOUS!

two hands to clap

2010-03-31T13:03:00.000+08:00

what if, only one friend is putting in the effort to
remain in contact with other,
maintain and keep the friendship going,
and yet the others don't seem to reciprocal.

Is the effort from one party enough
to ensure the continual survival of the friendship?

spare a little time each day and . . .

2010-03-31T12:02:00.000+08:00

i've decided to try and spare a little time each day to do some things. (:

(1) i want to spare a little time to update my daily happenings, and thoughts here.
I have feelings for this blog. I can't bear to leave it alone, and let it rot. =X
another reason is that i enjoy reading my friends' blogs, knowing about the happenings in their lives, and their thoughts. well, that's one way to catch up with their latest "news" isn't it?
So people, i didn't leave comment doesn't mean i didn't read your blog. ;)

(2) i want to spare a little time and read up my lecture notes.
It's hard to start such a habit. But I would try? Well, at least read one page better than nothing right? :D damn! know what i am actually thinking?! im thinking that, "everyday also have lecture, of course will read the notes." haha! well, i will try my best to at least read them, after or before the lecture each day. (: WENDY YOU BETTER DO IT!

(3) i want to spare a little time and listen to my favorite songs, and relax (that means not to do anything). Guess everyone need to relax a little each day right? If not will overstress? (: or at least do something i enjoy and will relax myself.

I hope I could think of more things. (:

- - - - -

Some random thoughts about Wendy, today.
I dislike the Wendy today.
Just because i'm having cramps,
i didn't contribute a single thing to the project discussion!
yeah. i tried to think of something! honest!
the cramp is irritating, and i wonder why ideas flow that fast for the others, and not for me. :\ whatever i seem to think of, they will say it out before me. why huh?
should have more breakfasts and healthier meals!
so i will have more nourished brain to function better! haha! =X
but well, i seriously feel so bad about myself.
i told myself that i couldn't do this cos nobody will like a free-rider as a group mate!

come on wendy! you can do better than this!

- - - - -

& im already nervous for my presentation, next wednesday. ):

undescripable feelings

2010-03-30T14:16:00.000+08:00

checked the dates for my exams.
and, i came to realize that the first paper is in 3 weeks time.
the greatest thing is, i haven't start my revision.
how wonderful is it, when i did so badly for my midterm quizzes.

22 April - Developmental Psychology (1pm to 3.30pm)

27 April - Social Psychology (9am to 11.30am)

29 April - Fictional Film : From Hollywood to Bollywood (5pm to 7pm)
Honestly, I HATE THIS TIMESLOT! -.-"

30 April - Research Designs and Data Analysis, basically it's statistics (2.30pm to 5pm)

I don't quite like the time table.
What's with the 5 days gap, then putting other 3 papers so close to each other?!
But well, nothing I can do.

This made me realize that it's TIME TO START.

- - - - -

1 learning journal (due this fri)
1 presentation (due 07 April) im seriously nervous about this!
1 research summary (due 16 April)
1 Statistics Group Project (due 19 April)

I don't understand why NTU functions this way.
There is actually assignment due just 3 days before the first paper,
and there's kind of no study week at all.
im so not getting use to such stressful life.

- - - - -

KEEP HOLDING ON!

Random Thoughts

2010-03-28T22:38:00.000+08:00

Thanks alot for the concern. (:
- Xiaofong and Ziqi (& whoever read-ed the previous entry)

I am really touched that you girls read my blog,
and showed concern, giving me words of advices,
and of course sharing your experiences and feelings. (:
this is one of the things that make you girls so special in my heart.
and of course those who read-ed, and show concern in some other ways.
I appreciate all these love and care,
& im really smiling from the bottom of my heart,
cos im fortunate to have such great soulmates like you girls.

- - - - -

did i mention that i did really badly for the mid-term quizzes?
yeah. so bad that im really so disappointed in myself.
im not achieving like how i did back in poly days.
in poly days, im aim for an Ace for assignments and all,
now, im just aiming for a pass or a slightly more decent grade.
i don't dare to look forward to any Ace anymore.

i don't usually like to share my results with people,
be it good or bad, unless someone closed to me asked.
im going to announce here in my blog that im really unhappy with my GPA last semester,
and im super disappointed in my grades for this mid-term quizzes.
doing a downward comparison to people (from JC) who did not do very well,
or did not achieve a higher GPA than me is not going to make myself improve.
it's their business that they are not achieving, and i should not slack cos they are worse than me. im always telling myself that there are far more people in the class, in the course, in the school that are doing far better than me. with my current achievements, i would graduate with a useless piece of degree cert, and ended up getting a job with my diploma only.
isn't this a waste of time, a waste of money, especially when i know financially my family is struggling to pay for the fees?

i promised myself that im going to work doubly or triply hard this semester,
i must pull up my GPA. but all these results are pulling my motivation down.
im not enjoying school at all now, this is really bad.
my interest seems to be dying away because of this.
i have to stop this. i must stop this.
i do like the friends i have now, somehow, i still prefer to be alone at times.
i don't feel this way when im with friends outside of uni. why?

seriously, im losing myself.
and i hate this.
note that it's HATE, not only dislike.

Can I Just Be A Little Selfish?

2010-03-24T22:24:00.000+08:00

I felt that I am closing myself up again.
What do I mean by "again"?
Well, honestly, those poly days, with those ladies,
they made me open up myself, and I can really feel that I am confident about myself.
But after the transition into uni, I am closing myself up again.
I don't know why. I felt intimidated there.
I felt that I am like so dumb.
I wonder (not once, but several times) if I should just stop my education at Diploma level.
My self-confidence seems to drop back to square one.
I can't see the Wendy that I used to be back in those days.
- - - - -

Grouping problems again. (im glad none of my uni friends know of this blog).
Honestly, I am unhappy with them, making the decision, and not asking me about my opinion.
Come on, you are putting me into a group where 4 of them are super close friends,
two of them whom I don't know? and two of them whom I rarely talked with?
Well, since last semester's group work with the latter two, I know that we are of different working styles. I really don't wish to be in the same group as them, again.
But, nobody ask me about what I think. HEY! you are deciding my groupmates for me?
Issue here, I am reluctant to join these ladies, but none of the others wanted as well.
Seems like I am being sacrificed huh?

Haojie seems to have a point.
I am like always getting "bullied" or rather "take advantaged of".
Why? Cos I looked like one.

I just feel that sometimes I think too much about how others feel,
and how they would think of me, and especially when I treasure the relationship between me, and them.

I hate such problems. I dislike such Wendy.
I can't seem to find Wendy anywhere.
I miss her.
- - - - -

I am feeling so inferior nowadays,
my ego/self-esteem never once fell as low as now.

Parental Love

2010-03-21T22:31:00.000+08:00

Watched "The Kidnapper".
A Local Movie, a nice one. (:
- - - - -

Parents' love for their children is beyond what words could describe.
The movie really make me realize how much our parents love each of us.

I bet all parents will understand the feelings of the dad,
and why he did all things, just to get his son back home.

Simple plot, yet it shows so much about parental love.

Isolation from the World

2010-03-18T23:37:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I just wish I could
plug the earpiece into my ears,
on to the volume which I can't hear anything
other than the songs I am playing.

Sometimes, I just want to isolate myself from the surrounding,
and be drowned in the lyrics of the songs.
I enjoy that feeling. (:

P.S. I sound kind of autistic eh?

TearDrops

2010-02-28T08:38:00.000+08:00

爱要多聪明才逃得过哭泣？

SECURITY

2010-02-01T02:45:00.000+08:00

I'm losing it.

why.

Mutual Understanding.

2010-01-19T22:13:00.000+08:00

Mutual Understanding

how in-depth can it get?
how long does it take?

Doubt 3 years plus is enough.
It hurts that you don't appear to understand
how my character is like.
It hurts that you assume it to be the negative way.

Maybe I'm the one who cause such assumption to be present,
with my words and all.

But, I still hope that you could look at me,
as a normal girl who has a good character beneath her appearance.
And not someone who is really such a sucker in life,
someone who always pushes the blame on to others.
Well, like I said, maybe because of my words that's why all those
negative assumptions are present.
Maybe because I am not good at expressing myself.

Please put in a little more effort and see me in different directions.
I would appreciate that, especially it hurts badly when it's you
who is telling me straight in the face the ugly side of me, which
doesn't really exist.

- - - - -

I'm getting lost about what I am writing here.
& Somehow, the more I write, the more I think I am someone
like what you thought I am.

Forget it.

- - - - -

You're right. I am a freaking lazy girl.

做自己

2010-01-12T13:48:00.000+08:00

我想，
我做的每一件事都不需要向任何一个人解释。
我的所作所为都没有必要让全世界知道。

因为，我相信，
只有相信你的人，
了解你的人，明白你的人，
和用心对待你的人，
才是真正的了解你。

也只有他们，不用你说出你做每一件事背后的原因。
就因为，他们用心去认识你，
明白你，了解你，相信你，也支持你。

你找到他们了吗? (:

P.S. 做自己的胜算最大

Beginning of Year 1 Semester 2

2010-01-11T23:10:00.000+08:00

12 January 2010 marks the beginning of my Year 1 Sem 2.
Honestly, I am so not in the mood for school!
I guess.. it's the anxiety again.
Got to leave my comfort zone once again.

There's a reason to such saying. (:

2010-01-06T01:33:00.000+08:00

男人不坏，女人不爱。

这是有原因的。

因为坏男孩内心深处的感情，真心的话，柔弱的一面，
永远只会在心爱的女人面前表现出来。
因为坏男孩对他心爱的女孩
最温柔，最体贴，最保护，和最真。

A New Year Once Again.

2010-01-01T23:57:00.000+08:00

Happy 2010. (:

This is Touching. (:

2009-12-28T00:38:00.000+08:00

soon i'll bring you to places that we wished we would be. =)

-my sweet boy.

Happy 20th and 21st BIrthdays!

2009-12-27T12:52:00.000+08:00

26th December 2009 was a AWESOME day.
Happy 20th & 21st Birthdays to the lovely ladies. (:

2009-12-15T00:20:00.000+08:00

I love squeezing on a packed train with you,
cos I know I'll be safe in your arms.

<3

What is Love? This is LOVE.

2009-12-10T00:45:00.000+08:00

What is love?

hoycasey:

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds: “What does love mean?”

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think…

_____

“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.”

Rebecca - age 8

_____

“When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.”

Billy - age 4

_____

“Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.”

Terri - age 4

_____

“Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.”

Danny - age 7

_____

“Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.”

Emily - age 8

_____

“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.”

Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

_____

“If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.”

Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka’s on this planet)

_____

“Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.”

Noelle - age 7

_____

“Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.”

Tommy - age 6

_____

“During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.”

Cindy - age 8

_____

“Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.”

Elaine - age 5

_____

“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.”

Chris - age 7

_____

“Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.”

Mary Ann - age 4

_____

“I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.” (Now THIS is love!)

Lauren - age 4

_____

“When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.” (what an image!)

Karen - age 7

_____

“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross.”

Mark - age 6

_____

“You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.”

Jessica - age 8

_____

And the final one…

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

“Nothing, I just helped him cry.”

What a Love Life Story.

2009-12-08T00:16:00.000+08:00

Waiting, and waiting.
She has been waiting for him, almost the whole lifetime,
without knowing where he is,
without knowing when is he coming back
and without complains.

So, why complain when we just have to wait
for a little while, for our loved ones?

What a Love Life Story.

- - - - -

The book is marvelous. (:
The ending is . . .
go read it yourself.
Hint: It's different from the movie.

- - - - -

So much reflections after the book.

- - - - -

Treasure and Cherish every single moment
with your loved ones. <3

End to First Examination Period in Uni.

2009-12-02T01:42:00.000+08:00

01 December 2009
3.30pm

Marked the end of the First Semester Examination. (:

- - - - -

It feels.. weird.

Mathematicophobia

2009-11-29T02:07:00.000+08:00

I think I have a serious phobia.
The "Mathematicophobia".
- - - - -

The same damn feeling I felt about 4 to 5 years ago,
is back to haunt me once again.
The exact fear and worry for it.
The only fear that could really send me straight into tears.
I hate it!

- - - - -
I guess I grew up. (:
Cos I know how to control it much better now.
& I am much more self-motivating a lot more than before.

- - - - -
P.S. any mathematician willing to lend me his/her brain for a day?
or rather 2.5 hours?

不用去计较

2009-11-26T00:33:00.000+08:00

爱一个人，
是不用去计较谁付出的比较多。

如果要计算那每一点的付出，
请问，你要算到什么时候?

Understanding

2009-11-25T00:54:00.001+08:00

Do people feel more disappointment when:

they gave too much, and there's no sign of return?
they just expect a little return after giving what they think is alot?
they are just too selfish to want a particular type of return, yet didn't get it?

Actually, I don't know.
- - - - -

Time spent together is already reduced
due to my examinations, and his work.
Even when there's opportunity to talk online,
majority of the time is spent on waiting for replies.
Even when there's chance to talk on the phone,
it's just 2 minutes,
seem topic-less, and when you just want to hear his voice,
his next sentence is
"okay lah. go sleep already. good night. byebye."
No sms after that (which it used to have).
- - - - -

I should seriously start to reflect about this,
AFTER my papers.
For the time being, just take it as nothing in particular.
- - - - -

Oh well, maybe I demanded too much.

First Paper

2009-11-20T10:05:00.000+08:00

20 November 2009
My First Examination Paper in NTU.
HP101 Introduction to Psychology.
1430 to 1700 (2.5 Hours)
- - - - -
I am having mixed feelings about this.
Honestly, I am rather confident about this paper as compared to the others,
still, not so confident when I am studying for it.
Too much terms and definitions to remember.
Too much symptoms and functions to remember as well.
It's challenging to be a psy major, with all these weird terms!
(I know it's the same to every other major, there are challenging parts to them)
Somehow, I feel cognitive dissonance (don't know if I use it right here).
It makes me go nuts just by reading the last few lectures,
yet I enjoy knowing more about those facts regarding our own behaviors and all.
Guess that's something good. (:

- - - - -

Oh well, BEST OF LUCK FOR ME! :D
& the others who are having papers too. (:

STUDY!

2009-11-12T21:52:00.000+08:00

Time to really start studying!
Exam officially starts next week!
GO GO GO WENDY!
it's only 3 WEEKS!

I still love you dearly.

2009-11-04T12:03:00.000+08:00

just 5 words, from him,
it removes all the unhappiness totally.
(:

Push Away

2009-11-04T09:34:00.001+08:00

Nobody loves being pushed away,
I am no exceptional.

It's so painful that you won't even notice that you're already crying madly.
You can't see the weapon; You can't see the wound.
Only the victim felt the pain.
The pain increased massively,
when it's your loved one who pushed you away.

- - - - -

I don't understand why he did that,
cos he never did.

Realization

2009-10-26T00:11:00.000+08:00

Bumped into you and her.
She ignored me, maybe she did not manage to recognize me at that second.
I waved and smiled at you.

Seeing you today,
made me further confirmed my "realization".
You made me love my boy more,
knowing that I made the right choice.
As he is my best. (:

P.S. Actually I dislike and regret knowing you; but still, thanks.

Insecurity

2009-10-19T23:53:00.000+08:00

there is still 10 days more to the actual day,
and why am i feeling this way so early?!
doesn't such feelings come only like a few days before the actual day? ):

tell me am i thinking too much.
i don't think i am.
i guess i am just feeling very insecure, and i really need his reassurance.
why am i feeling this way again?
damn it. i hate such insecurities in myself.

- - - - -

ask people to go wavehouse and work.
she said she is tired from working.
so ask her not to tire herself over work.
simple.

- - - - -

it's an explanation.
agree?

- - - - -

it made me felt
childish,
unreasonable,
suspicious,
and damn lousy.

- - - - -

shit you wendy.

Keep In Mind

2009-10-16T22:57:00.000+08:00

I hope this time you took my words seriously;
and it's not just for these two days.

- - - - -

Please be honest with me too.

Misses.

2009-10-05T15:17:00.000+08:00

Don't you just simply miss those days?
Even though assignments were a killer then,
it's these ladies that never fails to make me look forward to each schooling day.
Things are so different now.

Just Another Random Entry

2009-10-04T01:30:00.000+08:00

Just another random entry with whatever that comes to my mind.
Just kind of completed my Literature's Essay. (cheer please)
Why did I said, "kind of" ? Because I think it still needs quite a number of editing.
Well, I just hope for a B? or maybe just something decent?
I doubt I could Ace anymore, especially in something like LITERATURE?!
Well, I suck at lit please.

moving on...
someone please!
teach me, how to teach!

and, my recess week is ending.
hais. time is indeed "flying".
well, upcoming assignments and quizzes,
guess i really need to be alot more disciplined like how I was in the past.
oh well, we shall see. hah.

p.s. i dunno if i should use the s/u option on lit. ):

TOPMAN EYE CANDY!

2009-10-01T22:43:00.001+08:00

Warning to All Readers: I may sound crazy in this entry. Beware. Well, I AM indeed going Gaga over this EyeCandy. :D
- - - - -

Was shopping with my sister today.
Went ion. (im cutting away the introduction part)
Leaving ion.
Saw this Eurasian Lady, taking photo.
I thought she was taking her own photo from a reflective wall.
But as I walked, I saw her taking photo of another Eurasian guy (Eurasian Guy A),
holding a signage that wrote "This way to TopShop and TopMan".
"He's good looking!" (that's what i thought)
Then I turned and walked,
i saw a "plastic model" with the same signage standing opposite Guy A.
"Damn it! He moved! He's a real guy!"
That's Eurasian Guy B. He is freaking gorgeous!
I thought he was just some plastic model standing there,
but no! He's real! A real handsome, charming model!
He has the looks, the height, the smile, the charisma, etc.
He is just like those guys that can never be real. hah.
Left Ion, yet was going crazy over him with my sister.
Then we went back. =X Just to see him, one more time. hahahaha!
I cannot believe that I did such stupid thing, cos Wendy never once go so crazy over a guy.
This time, we saw like another Guy C.
Well, so we just followed those Guys' position which directed us to Topshop/Topman.
Gosh! There are like 5 to 6 such charming guys?!
well, all are eurasians. hahahhaa!
My eyes enjoyed themselves alot today. LOL!
But well, my fave eyecandy is still Eurasian Guy B. (:
He really makes my heart beats faster, my body temperature goes up, and I can feel myself blushing!
Can you believe that?! Wendy will go crazy over a guy?!
Well, he is really my Topman's EyeCandy. :D

P.S. i went online to search for his photo, hopefully i can find it. anyway, they are there because there's a fashion party held by topshop/topman for a new season designs clothings by christopher kane (a designer). im still thinking of him~~
anyway, i told my boy about it already. so no worries. he ain't a bit jealous. hah.
cos he knew that i can never get this eyecandy. xP

Wendy is going gaga over her Topman's EyeCandy.

Meet up! :D

2009-09-30T00:15:00.000+08:00

Met up with these lovely ladies! :D
As usual, lots of chatting and laughing.
And updates of each other's lives. (:
Meeting up again on Friday! Woots.
Cos Janice can't make it today. LOL!

LOVE YOU LADIES! (:

Movies with Boy. (:

2009-09-30T00:06:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, we have to break the routine.
& spend some time with
just each another. (:
Movies with my Boy, and just him.
P.S. We usually watch movies with a group of friends. hah.

Just Wanna Whine.

2009-09-28T23:31:00.000+08:00

I Just Wanna Whine Here.
It's MY space, so, just let me be.

- - - - -

I felt so damn freaking frustrated and easily-irritated,
the whole of today.
Can you believe it? the WHOLE of today. Damn it.
The feeling sucks ok?!

There are definitely different factors that contributed to all these shitty feelings.
The 'rejections'.
The 'order' in that damn rude tone (which sounded as if it's a MUST for me to do that)
The neglection, ignorance, raise in tone of voice.

I thought I would be feeling better when I met my boy.
Hell NO! He made it worst. Much Worst!
I know he did try to cheer me up, but well, as usual, he ran out of patience rather fast.
It's obvious when he ran out of patience, cos everything will turned 180degree, and it will be MY fault to be 'ignorant' to his efforts in cheering me up.
Then, the usual thing happened, the increased in volume in his tone, the harshness in words used.
I initiated a movie, he agreed.
Just before the movie, he warned me,
wanting me to not be like this (i was damn moody the whole day) after the movie.
Well, I tried ok? Who would feel good when your boyfriend just kept playing his game whole day while you are already showing signs of boredom, and needed his attention?!
Indeed, after the movie I was feeling much better.
But this feeling doesn't last. Ha-Ha.
Went back to his place, again, back to his game,
this time worst, his new "addiction", a stupid anime, BLEACH!
I told him repeatedly that I don't want to watch.
Well, he insisted me to watch with him, so I did.
But, I was kind of being 'forced' to watch it.
Well, seeing all those excitement he had when i agreed to watch with him,
he continue episodes to episodes.
Obviously he didn't notice that I wasn't really enjoying it totally.
Forget about that.
- - - - -

Oh, did I mention that the freaking hot weather is one of the stupid factor?!
Shit the weather! Made me more hot-tempered only.

- - - - -

All I want to do is WHINE!
And I did. Thanks for reading all my ventings.
I do hope that no questions will be asked.
I doubt I would enjoy recalling all these shitty happenings.

Btw, Beloved Joanne, my FB status has nothing to do with you ok? (:

f.

Meet Up with Loves.

2009-09-27T23:56:00.000+08:00

Met up with these lovely ladies,
just for a short dinner, at City Hall.
Though the food was rather disappointing,
but not (and never) the catching up!
(:

- - - - -
I really love them. <3
P.S. & the day was the first day of F1 race.

Megan Foxy

2009-09-27T01:30:00.000+08:00

Which direction? Right or Left?
Shake it! hah!

To be a boy or a girl? Shake it!
Oh, I guess this is designed for Megan Fox?
Ok. that's what my sister commented.

- - - - -
Recent craze over ipod touch. =X
games, and online. haha.

Beloveds Meet Up

2009-09-24T00:03:00.000+08:00

I am so glad, it's actually more than just glad,
that I am able to meet up with my two Beloveds!
With so much changes to each of our lives,
being able to sit together, have dinner, updates on each other,
then talk crap and rubbish (as usual) is happiness,
that's beyond description.
(Ok, maybe because my vocabulary is rather limited. But simple writing is better!)

This will be the photo for 22nd Sept 2009.
<3

Randomness.

2009-09-22T00:11:00.000+08:00

Some random notice found on a piece of wall,
just behind 883 (Woodlands North Plaza).
Well, first impression that came into my mind,
is that this notice is for a particular group of people.
Go interpret it yourself. (:

I don't know why I took a photo of these.
But, they just looked so colourful, and cute to me.
Well, at least it seems happy to me. (:

Official Start of "Daily Random Snaps" Project

2009-09-20T23:36:00.000+08:00

That's a Place, that I will always love, and miss.
A place, that I spent most of childhood at.
P.S. Jasmine just lives like in one of those flats? LOL!

Some said that Life is like a box of chocolates,
you never know what you will get. (or something like that)
Well, it's also like a box of donuts!
You have the rights to choose the favours you want,
and make decisions for yourself. (:

A Photograph A Day, Keeps the Memory Right in the Brain.

2009-09-19T23:21:00.000+08:00

I'm currently reading a book,
titled Before I Forget, by Melissa Hill.
It made me want to start a practice;
a practice that the main lead did.
(:

A Photograph A Day, Keeps the Memory in Your Brain.
To be more specified, in your Hippocampus. ;)

Just Another Update About My Life

2009-09-16T23:45:00.000+08:00

Begin, or should I say, already, used to uni's life.
Getting more and more independent nowadays.
Stopped getting lost weeks ago.
Which is something great!
At least i manage to find the nearest library and spend my one hour break there.
Well, had friends, and even a friend that lives in sbw
whom I sometimes travel home with.
Well, still, most of the time im alone. x)
Doesn't matter to me now.
Cos I will always have a book to keep me company. (:
Reading is a good habit. ;)
Anyway, I still think the best companion on train or bus trip is still my beloved Joanne.
Sometimes I can't help, but to think about what she once told me,
about her traveling to school alone during her secondary school days.
Guess, I am starting to feel how she felt that time? LOL.

Moving on, assignments, still manageable.
Of course manageable!
Used to rush out so many projects per sem,
now only 5 modules, what's so difficult? HAH! Yea~ right. >.<
Going to hand up my very first assignment tomorrow.
Hopefully it's alright.
The fear that I always had when submitting assignment is back to haunt me,
since monday! that's terrible.
anyway, im still very worried about my electives. ):
foundation of math, which is NOT foundation at all.
introduction to lit study, which is NOT introduction at all.
im so not going to let my electives pull down my gpa.
I was once in poly, and I know how important it is to maintain my gpa
from the start.

Recently, I am starting to doubt if I had picked the right course.
Ya. I know. What am I thinking right?
Somehow I feel that one part of me wanted to go NIE,
wanted to be an educator.
Well, that will not be part of my short term plan for now.

School work aside. (:
Recess is coming! Woots!
In a week's time! Cool huh?
Going to plan several meet ups with beloveds, friends, and all! :D
Well, I guess it's the "old" friends who are keeping me going.

Shall update more often, since my Beloved Joanne
wants to read about my life. (:
It's touching to know that someone actually
wants to know about what's going on in your life,
when you ain't any celebrity. HAHA!

Happy Teachers' Day 2009

2009-09-02T01:18:00.000+08:00

Aspire to Teach, Teach to Inspire.
Making a Difference in Someone's Life.
Be an Educator.
(:

Happy Teachers' Day to All the Wonderful Teachers.

- - - - -

Make me wonder if I should have join NIE.
hah.

Motivation & Encouragement

2009-09-02T01:08:00.000+08:00

Just sitting there and letting the thoughts flow non-stop.
School isn't busy, yet.
I seriously need something to motivate me
to attend school,
to work hard like how I once did,
to enjoy my current life.

And please, tell me now.
What and where is my "motivator"?

Distance Really Makes the Heart Grew Fonder

2009-08-24T23:57:00.000+08:00

Work Started; School Started
Distance started to grow,
and misses tag along.

The New Phase

2009-08-17T23:55:00.000+08:00

To be honest, I am NOT enjoying school at all.
Well, maybe the only part I love most, is attending lecture,
and keep on taking down notes.
I dislike getting lost.
I dislike seeing people with friends, and me alone.
- - - - -
I kept telling myself, it's alright.
Cos it's just the beginning.
Once tutorials start, you will know friends eventually.
And I sincerely hope so.
- - - - -
I miss those days.
I miss those friends.
I miss those love, fun and laughter.
When can I get new ones?
- - - - -

Just Another Entry. (:

2009-07-28T14:23:00.000+08:00

Congrats to those who are in Wheelock College! :D
You are going to have your very first break. (:

- - - - -

Dear Beloved Joanne, this is for you!
School is starting on Monday, all the best! :D
Changes bring stress to people, but if you feel so,
always remember that Jenn and I will always be here
to lend you our listening ears. I hope two pairs are enough for you. =X
Let me know how's school ok? (:

- - - - -

Orientation day coming up next thurs.
and it really scares me. ):
I cannot imagine myself going to school
all alone, not sure about anything or anyone there.
I just simply hope people are nice and friendly there.
Well, at least FRIENDLY please. =X
Oh well, like what they said,
I would definitely feel better.
And of course, I hope I could feel better soon, real soon.
I hate such uncertainties.

- - - - -

I know time just can't stop.
I know I can't just stop as well.
Keep Moving Wendy! :D

- - - - -

I would miss these days. x)

Updates of Recent Life.

2009-07-05T14:24:00.001+08:00

Quite some time since I last updated.
Have been experiencing a number of changes.
Got rejected by NUS even after appealing,
but at least I had a place in NTU.
Starting school soon.
The thought of going school alone, knowing nobody there
on the very first day really turns me off totally. ):

Last working day at NYP's Learning Vision.
Kind of happy that finally I can join my boy at SGC.
Yet, at the same time I am missing the kids.

Speaking of SGC,
part timers changed, all except for one (someone i don't really like).
full timers, remains, which is a good thing. (:
and everything kind of change alot.
have to learn to adapt to it asap.
I am glad that those part timers there are super friendly and nice to me. :D
somehow, i feel that it's cos of my boy, that's why i can click with them faster and better?
I know i am not a extrovert. x)
anyway, im still enjoy working there even though sometimes some people sucks. =x
but that's the minority. hah!

im craving for lots of things now. so many to list out. =x

P.S. "It" destroys my self confidence level greatly. But it's time for me to really fight back with all methods!

19!

2009-06-20T21:26:00.000+08:00

19!